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  • 28 Jan 2013
    Don't eat turkey sandwiches, no matter what!! A little boy and a little girl attended the same school and became friends. Every day they would sit together to eat their lunch. They discovered that they both brought turkey sandwiches every day! This went on all through the fourth and fifth grades, until one day he noticed that her sandwich wasn't a turkey sandwich. He said, 'Hey, how come you're not eating turkey?Don't you like it anymore?' She said 'I love it but I have to stop eating it.' 'Why?' he asked. She pointed to her lap and said'Cause I'm starting to grow little feathers down there!' 'Let me see' he said. 'Okay' and she showed him. He looked and said, 'That's right. You are! Better not eat any more turkey.' He kept eating his turkey sandwiches until one day he brought a peanut butter sandwich instead. He said to the little girl, 'I have to stop eating turkey sandwiches, I'm starting to get feathers down there too!' She asked if she could look, so he showed her! She said, 'Oh, my God, it's too late for you! You've already got the NECK and GIBLETS!
    3203 Posted by diana spencer
  • 21 Feb 2013
    In the social sciences, the word "clique" is used to describe a group of 2 to 12 (averaging 5 or 6) "persons who interact with each other more regularly and intensely than others in the same setting.
    1406 Posted by diana spencer
  • 22 Feb 2013
    On the first day, God created the dog and said, sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this I will give you a life span of twenty years.The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?"And God said that it was good.On the second day, God created the monkey and said, "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?"And God again said that it was good.On the third day, God created the cow and said, "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years."The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"And God agreed it was good.On the fourth day, God created humans and said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."But the human said, "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?""Okay," said God, "You asked for it."So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.Life has now been explained to you.There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I'm doing it as a public service. If you are looking for me I will be on the front porch....
    1270 Posted by diana spencer
8,467 views Apr 26, 2013
Fifty Shades of Grey ( a Husbands point of view )

The missus bought a paperback,
down Shepton Mallet way,
I had a look inside her bag;
T'was "Fifty Shades Of Grey".

Well I just left her to it,
And at 10 I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread...

In her left she held a rope;
And in her right a whip
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to strip.

Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn't weathered well;
She's eighty four next week

Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!

She struggled back upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
I am a dominator

Now if you knew our Mabel,
You'd see just why I spluttered,
I'd spent two months in traction
for the last complaint I'd uttered.

She stood there nude and naked
Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
and stood on her left tit

Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My god what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
"Step on the other one"

Well readers, I can't tell no more;
About what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of grey.



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