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Julie Hawkwood 's Entries

23 blogs
  • 09 Dec 2014
    British businessman Shrien Dewani has left South Africa after a judge cleared him of arranging the murder of his wife on their honeymoon.   Speaking about Mr Dewani's admission, Mrs Dewani’s Uncle said the accused had secret relationships with gay men in the months before his marriage, Mr Hindocha said: "Shrien Dewani has lied to us from day one’.   Its very sad that the murdered bride’s family feel that justice has not been served. But its very interesting that her family insinuate that he must be guilty of murder because he had lied since they met him. The lie is that he ‘is bisexual or gay’. Mr Dewani had sex with gay men, licked the boots of a German Gay ‘Master’ in fetish sessions. The fact that this information was not shared with his wife's wider family is used as ‘evidence’ that Mr.Dewani is what we call Ooop North, ‘a wrong ‘un’.   He had sexual adventures not in keeping with a young bridegroom. He MUST be a murderer.   Its not a huge leap to….. he was a transvestite, we never knew, he lied. He must be guilty, a wrong ‘un……..
    628 Posted by Julie Hawkwood
  • British businessman Shrien Dewani has left South Africa after a judge cleared him of arranging the murder of his wife on their honeymoon.   Speaking about Mr Dewani's admission, Mrs Dewani’s Uncle said the accused had secret relationships with gay men in the months before his marriage, Mr Hindocha said: "Shrien Dewani has lied to us from day one’.   Its very sad that the murdered bride’s family feel that justice has not been served. But its very interesting that her family insinuate that he must be guilty of murder because he had lied since they met him. The lie is that he ‘is bisexual or gay’. Mr Dewani had sex with gay men, licked the boots of a German Gay ‘Master’ in fetish sessions. The fact that this information was not shared with his wife's wider family is used as ‘evidence’ that Mr.Dewani is what we call Ooop North, ‘a wrong ‘un’.   He had sexual adventures not in keeping with a young bridegroom. He MUST be a murderer.   Its not a huge leap to….. he was a transvestite, we never knew, he lied. He must be guilty, a wrong ‘un……..
    Dec 09, 2014 628
  • 07 Oct 2014
    I’m not very sociable. In fact I’m quite anti-social, miserable, very often depressed. I think its part of me being ‘trans’.   Being trans makes me miserable. Being trans makes being sociable hard for me. I very often feel guilty, feel nervous. I worry that in ‘normal’ or work company, people wonder why, as a guy, I have long blonde hair and obviously shaped brows. I feel guilty. I don’t look ‘right’. People are wary of me.   If ‘normal’ people mention transpeople, I get nervous, panicky, act weird. That makes me more nervous and aloof. And that spreads and grows.   It even affects my ‘trans’ social life too. I’m not a ‘normal’ in normal company so I’m miserable. Very often I’m not a boozy party social ‘tranny’ in trans company (although I do have form as liking a booze-up and certainly trying!) and on a night out I can be miserable.   So a miserable person who's hard work to be with?   So how does that sit with becoming a woman? Women are gregarious, crave social interaction, love to chat, are smiley and warm? None of these words apply to me. If I were to become a woman, all this would be the hardest thing for me to learn.   Decades of miserableness with my trans condition seem entrenched and the only future looks.. ‘weird’. Transitioning is hard. If you’re a weird, antisocial person, transitioning kind of emphasises the weirdness. ‘He’ is odd therefore being trans proves ‘he’ was odd. The ‘odd guy’ wears womens clothes. The ‘weirdo’ wants to be a woman. The ‘shifty guy’ wants to use our Ladies.   Inside I’m a wonder, I’m a goddess. Trying to make the inside the outside seems so impossible… Shit, now I’m more miserable! LMAO Love ya xxx
    1084 Posted by Julie Hawkwood
  • I’m not very sociable. In fact I’m quite anti-social, miserable, very often depressed. I think its part of me being ‘trans’.   Being trans makes me miserable. Being trans makes being sociable hard for me. I very often feel guilty, feel nervous. I worry that in ‘normal’ or work company, people wonder why, as a guy, I have long blonde hair and obviously shaped brows. I feel guilty. I don’t look ‘right’. People are wary of me.   If ‘normal’ people mention transpeople, I get nervous, panicky, act weird. That makes me more nervous and aloof. And that spreads and grows.   It even affects my ‘trans’ social life too. I’m not a ‘normal’ in normal company so I’m miserable. Very often I’m not a boozy party social ‘tranny’ in trans company (although I do have form as liking a booze-up and certainly trying!) and on a night out I can be miserable.   So a miserable person who's hard work to be with?   So how does that sit with becoming a woman? Women are gregarious, crave social interaction, love to chat, are smiley and warm? None of these words apply to me. If I were to become a woman, all this would be the hardest thing for me to learn.   Decades of miserableness with my trans condition seem entrenched and the only future looks.. ‘weird’. Transitioning is hard. If you’re a weird, antisocial person, transitioning kind of emphasises the weirdness. ‘He’ is odd therefore being trans proves ‘he’ was odd. The ‘odd guy’ wears womens clothes. The ‘weirdo’ wants to be a woman. The ‘shifty guy’ wants to use our Ladies.   Inside I’m a wonder, I’m a goddess. Trying to make the inside the outside seems so impossible… Shit, now I’m more miserable! LMAO Love ya xxx
    Oct 07, 2014 1084
  • 31 Jul 2014
    They say that to pass, we should blend in. I often observe real women of my age (stop it!) and what they look like, what they wear. Truth is, there is no single stereotype to copy. Women, thank the goddess, do not blend into each other. BUT there is a certain stereotype out there I can aspire too. She is sophisticated, blonde and of a certain age.   So to blend, I should look like women my own age, whatever that is. It could be my sophisticated blonde, it could be a mumsy mum. It's a tricky call!   So how to blend on these hot summer days? I saw a tranny in M&S the other day, she looked great: a nicely styled wig and it's hard to do an updo with a wig but then she wore a dark top up to her neck, a black business suit, black opaque tights and black shoes. All you could see of her was her face. The eye was drawn to her face and to another tranny, she was read straight away.   I wondered, they tell us not to be tarty, to blend. Not too much leg, not too big a chest. I wondered if that tranny had nude tights, showed more leg, showed more chest then the eye would be drawn to very feminine features and passing would be easier?   Showing some flesh? Showing some sexuality would blend? Many women wear low cut tops, a womans clothing neckline is different from mens, they unbutton some blouse buttons, show off nice tanned legs. Many women look sexy and sensual to a male eye without even trying. Maybe a little sexiness, a frisson of sensualness is better for passing? And if you've got it, flaunt it? Without going daft!   You can blend, pass and be a woman with a little sexuality?   Jules x
    1015 Posted by Julie Hawkwood
  • They say that to pass, we should blend in. I often observe real women of my age (stop it!) and what they look like, what they wear. Truth is, there is no single stereotype to copy. Women, thank the goddess, do not blend into each other. BUT there is a certain stereotype out there I can aspire too. She is sophisticated, blonde and of a certain age.   So to blend, I should look like women my own age, whatever that is. It could be my sophisticated blonde, it could be a mumsy mum. It's a tricky call!   So how to blend on these hot summer days? I saw a tranny in M&S the other day, she looked great: a nicely styled wig and it's hard to do an updo with a wig but then she wore a dark top up to her neck, a black business suit, black opaque tights and black shoes. All you could see of her was her face. The eye was drawn to her face and to another tranny, she was read straight away.   I wondered, they tell us not to be tarty, to blend. Not too much leg, not too big a chest. I wondered if that tranny had nude tights, showed more leg, showed more chest then the eye would be drawn to very feminine features and passing would be easier?   Showing some flesh? Showing some sexuality would blend? Many women wear low cut tops, a womans clothing neckline is different from mens, they unbutton some blouse buttons, show off nice tanned legs. Many women look sexy and sensual to a male eye without even trying. Maybe a little sexiness, a frisson of sensualness is better for passing? And if you've got it, flaunt it? Without going daft!   You can blend, pass and be a woman with a little sexuality?   Jules x
    Jul 31, 2014 1015
  • 28 Jul 2014
    After a long days tranny spotting in Manchester, I have noticed something that makes trannies stand out so much..... dry white powdery faces with big pores. Now, I'm not being rude and I've been there and am there a lot myself. Men have BIG pores, so we sweat more and make more oil on our skin. This means our faces shine most so we might need more face powder. More face powder can emphasise the big pores more and make us look unnaturally pale, like a corpse. Such is the curse of the tranny! There are ways to beat this and I'm sure you have many more and better ones. First is - don't fight the shine, embrace the shine! A little sheen on our skin can look younger a dewy. It can look fresh and natural. You can use a bronzer or tinted powder to fight the white ghostly look. The white Matt look suits my Great Aunt Fanny but she's in her 80's and hasn't seen sun in years. Most trannies I spot are much much younger. I use a bronzer on top of powder just to add some glow. Also try a fake tan! Girls love to fake it and it also means your foundation and hopefully powder will be darker to match. Treat yourself, you're worth it! Use a primer to seal and conceal the pores so that your powder doesn't fill the holes. Primer is also amazing because it smooths your skin out and takes years off your appearance. I'm using Mac Prep and Prime but I'm still not sure about Mac, I like the image it has but not convinced by the product and price. Use foundation sparingly, many real girls use it just where it's needed or don't use it at all and only use a concealer. You could apply foundation with a brush and use the old 'brush secret' to hide pores which involves using circle motions. There a YouTube video about it. Finally the MOST IMPORTANT thing for any woman, moisturise moisturise moisturise. Moisturise keep wrinkles at bay, smooths your skin and makes shaving easier. Some trannies will not under any circumstances use moisturiser, mistakenly thinking it will make their face shine. It makes makeup go on nicer too. Moisturise! These are just my thoughts, as always - I'm happy to be called wrong/stupid/evil/a cow/etc Love ya xxxxx
    994 Posted by Julie Hawkwood
  • After a long days tranny spotting in Manchester, I have noticed something that makes trannies stand out so much..... dry white powdery faces with big pores. Now, I'm not being rude and I've been there and am there a lot myself. Men have BIG pores, so we sweat more and make more oil on our skin. This means our faces shine most so we might need more face powder. More face powder can emphasise the big pores more and make us look unnaturally pale, like a corpse. Such is the curse of the tranny! There are ways to beat this and I'm sure you have many more and better ones. First is - don't fight the shine, embrace the shine! A little sheen on our skin can look younger a dewy. It can look fresh and natural. You can use a bronzer or tinted powder to fight the white ghostly look. The white Matt look suits my Great Aunt Fanny but she's in her 80's and hasn't seen sun in years. Most trannies I spot are much much younger. I use a bronzer on top of powder just to add some glow. Also try a fake tan! Girls love to fake it and it also means your foundation and hopefully powder will be darker to match. Treat yourself, you're worth it! Use a primer to seal and conceal the pores so that your powder doesn't fill the holes. Primer is also amazing because it smooths your skin out and takes years off your appearance. I'm using Mac Prep and Prime but I'm still not sure about Mac, I like the image it has but not convinced by the product and price. Use foundation sparingly, many real girls use it just where it's needed or don't use it at all and only use a concealer. You could apply foundation with a brush and use the old 'brush secret' to hide pores which involves using circle motions. There a YouTube video about it. Finally the MOST IMPORTANT thing for any woman, moisturise moisturise moisturise. Moisturise keep wrinkles at bay, smooths your skin and makes shaving easier. Some trannies will not under any circumstances use moisturiser, mistakenly thinking it will make their face shine. It makes makeup go on nicer too. Moisturise! These are just my thoughts, as always - I'm happy to be called wrong/stupid/evil/a cow/etc Love ya xxxxx
    Jul 28, 2014 994
  • 03 Jul 2014
    I came across this and got quite excitable!   http://www.puffswithpolish.com   An LGBT cleaning company, employing LGB and Trans? Whats not to like? Lets employ our own! Then I thought about the name: 'Puffs with Polish'. Thats funny, tongue in cheek, approachable, even... cool? Puffs with polish conjures an image, conjures jokes? But then I thought about the word 'puffs'. Is it funny? Is it hurtful? Is it empowering to take ownership of a word that the muggles use to hurt? Is it like rappers claiming to be 'niggaz'? Or does it paint 'Trans' into a stereotype of being 'puffs' in frocks? Do we care? I love the idea of this company and I wish them well, heck - I'd even use them! Discuss.......
    843 Posted by Julie Hawkwood
  • I came across this and got quite excitable!   http://www.puffswithpolish.com   An LGBT cleaning company, employing LGB and Trans? Whats not to like? Lets employ our own! Then I thought about the name: 'Puffs with Polish'. Thats funny, tongue in cheek, approachable, even... cool? Puffs with polish conjures an image, conjures jokes? But then I thought about the word 'puffs'. Is it funny? Is it hurtful? Is it empowering to take ownership of a word that the muggles use to hurt? Is it like rappers claiming to be 'niggaz'? Or does it paint 'Trans' into a stereotype of being 'puffs' in frocks? Do we care? I love the idea of this company and I wish them well, heck - I'd even use them! Discuss.......
    Jul 03, 2014 843
  • 02 Jul 2014
    ((As ALWAYS with my posts on Transtastic, please don't take any offence. It's said with a smile and a sense of fun!)) Here is my collected experience transferred into tips for Sparkle Weekend! Right now with a week to go, you should be moisturising..... EVERYTHING!!! Moisturise NOW! Moisturising keeps away those wrinkles, looks after your skin that you will be shaving the ass off and makes make-up go on better. I know a lot of trannies don't moisturise cause it makes their skin shiny - well it's good for your skin and girls do it! AND don't forget knees and elbows need a good moisturise, Ladies! And maybe think about buying some stocks and shares in 'Gillette', they are gonna get a sales peak in the next week. So... Sparkle is YOUR weekend! So get you girl on, get out and about and even escape the Village in a dress! There'll be trannies everywhere, even outside the Village, so be a girl about it! Remember that Manchester, despite being Oop North, still has REAL shops where you can buy things! Forget Stuff? You can go out and buy it. No worries! I think my best advice would be 'pace yourself', a lot of hangovers from Friday Night led to grumpy, psychotic, early-night trannies on Saturday last year (and I can do that without a hangover!) TOP THINGS TO TAKE: 1. Comfortable Shoes - my first Sparkle, I hit the Village at about 2pm on Friday afternoon in really high heels.... it was another TWELVE hours before I took them off! Heels for twelve hours is gonna hurt.... anyone. And the morning after is gonna hurt too! Mix comfy shoes and heels over the weekend. 2. Ear Plugs - a bit odd but hotels in the centre of Manchester are very noisy, usually with revellers outside and ALL night. If you want some sleep with a window open, they might help! 3. Desk Fan - if you're travelling by car then you can take the kitchen sink! A good thing to put in the car 'just in case' is a desk fan. If, and it is an 'if'', if its hot and your hotel has the heating on in mid-July (Grrrrr) then there's nothing worse than sweating as you're putting makeup on! I have gone out and bought a fan at previous Sparkles - if it's hot and sunny, fans will be expensive, if its cold and wet then you'll get a good deal! 4. Umbrella - it's Manchester!! Water-wings optional. I usually get a few little umbrellas at Tesco that are tiny and fit in a handbag, I usually lose a few too. 5. Towel - I like a lot of towels and over Sparkle you make take a lot of baths/showers to shave legs and things. Hotel towels can be crappy. I usually book a double or twin room to myself - double the towels! 6. George Clooney - he looks mature, respectable, treats you like a lady and... Your mum will love him! 7. Plan - it's a pain if you aren't travelling from home, having to pack EVERYTHING is impossible, plan what to take - from undies to outerwear. Get cracking NOW! 8. BIG Suitcase - you need to take everything and then add some more, take options for as many outfits as you can! 9. Shopping - Sparkle is a great excuse to treat yourself. It's also a great time to try new looks - what do you wear during the DAY in town on a summers afternoon? Yes, trannies in daylight! Many only come out at night! 10. Medicines - hangover cures, aspirin, migraine tablets (just me?), indigestion tablets (tight corset?), etc, etc ALSO - BE CAREFUL, ALWAYS! -------------------------------TOP THINGS I ALWAYS FORGET (and have to dash out and buy!)- Toothbrush- Shaving foam- Make-up remover- Nail varnish remover- Water ---------------------------------And finally........ Sinister Safety Things I Always Take (and have never come close to needing!)- Tiny Rape Alarm - fits in my handbag outer pocket- Form of ID (Drivers Licence) - its waterproof when they find my body in the canal! ----------------------HAVE FUN AND GIVE ME A NUDGE!!!!!!!!! xxxxxxxxxxx
    814 Posted by Julie Hawkwood
  • ((As ALWAYS with my posts on Transtastic, please don't take any offence. It's said with a smile and a sense of fun!)) Here is my collected experience transferred into tips for Sparkle Weekend! Right now with a week to go, you should be moisturising..... EVERYTHING!!! Moisturise NOW! Moisturising keeps away those wrinkles, looks after your skin that you will be shaving the ass off and makes make-up go on better. I know a lot of trannies don't moisturise cause it makes their skin shiny - well it's good for your skin and girls do it! AND don't forget knees and elbows need a good moisturise, Ladies! And maybe think about buying some stocks and shares in 'Gillette', they are gonna get a sales peak in the next week. So... Sparkle is YOUR weekend! So get you girl on, get out and about and even escape the Village in a dress! There'll be trannies everywhere, even outside the Village, so be a girl about it! Remember that Manchester, despite being Oop North, still has REAL shops where you can buy things! Forget Stuff? You can go out and buy it. No worries! I think my best advice would be 'pace yourself', a lot of hangovers from Friday Night led to grumpy, psychotic, early-night trannies on Saturday last year (and I can do that without a hangover!) TOP THINGS TO TAKE: 1. Comfortable Shoes - my first Sparkle, I hit the Village at about 2pm on Friday afternoon in really high heels.... it was another TWELVE hours before I took them off! Heels for twelve hours is gonna hurt.... anyone. And the morning after is gonna hurt too! Mix comfy shoes and heels over the weekend. 2. Ear Plugs - a bit odd but hotels in the centre of Manchester are very noisy, usually with revellers outside and ALL night. If you want some sleep with a window open, they might help! 3. Desk Fan - if you're travelling by car then you can take the kitchen sink! A good thing to put in the car 'just in case' is a desk fan. If, and it is an 'if'', if its hot and your hotel has the heating on in mid-July (Grrrrr) then there's nothing worse than sweating as you're putting makeup on! I have gone out and bought a fan at previous Sparkles - if it's hot and sunny, fans will be expensive, if its cold and wet then you'll get a good deal! 4. Umbrella - it's Manchester!! Water-wings optional. I usually get a few little umbrellas at Tesco that are tiny and fit in a handbag, I usually lose a few too. 5. Towel - I like a lot of towels and over Sparkle you make take a lot of baths/showers to shave legs and things. Hotel towels can be crappy. I usually book a double or twin room to myself - double the towels! 6. George Clooney - he looks mature, respectable, treats you like a lady and... Your mum will love him! 7. Plan - it's a pain if you aren't travelling from home, having to pack EVERYTHING is impossible, plan what to take - from undies to outerwear. Get cracking NOW! 8. BIG Suitcase - you need to take everything and then add some more, take options for as many outfits as you can! 9. Shopping - Sparkle is a great excuse to treat yourself. It's also a great time to try new looks - what do you wear during the DAY in town on a summers afternoon? Yes, trannies in daylight! Many only come out at night! 10. Medicines - hangover cures, aspirin, migraine tablets (just me?), indigestion tablets (tight corset?), etc, etc ALSO - BE CAREFUL, ALWAYS! -------------------------------TOP THINGS I ALWAYS FORGET (and have to dash out and buy!)- Toothbrush- Shaving foam- Make-up remover- Nail varnish remover- Water ---------------------------------And finally........ Sinister Safety Things I Always Take (and have never come close to needing!)- Tiny Rape Alarm - fits in my handbag outer pocket- Form of ID (Drivers Licence) - its waterproof when they find my body in the canal! ----------------------HAVE FUN AND GIVE ME A NUDGE!!!!!!!!! xxxxxxxxxxx
    Jul 02, 2014 814
  • 18 Jun 2013
    ((As ALWAYS with my posts on Transtastic, please don't take any offence. It's said with a smile and a sense of fun!))   Here is my collected experience transferred into tips for Sparkle Weekend!   Right now with weeks to go, you should be moisturising..... EVERYTHING!!! Moisturise NOW! Moisturising keeps away those wrinkles, looks after your skin that you will be shaving the ass off and makes make-up go on better. I know a lot of trannies don't moisturise cause it makes their skin shiny - well it's good for your skin and girls do it! AND don't forget knees and elbows need a good moisturise, Ladies!   And maybe think about buying some stocks and shares in 'Gillette', they are gonna get a sales peak in the next few weeks.   So... Sparkle is YOUR weekend! So get you girl on, get out and about and even escape the Village in a dress! There'll be trannies everywhere, even outside the Village, so be a girl about it!   Remember that Manchester, despite being Oop North, still has REAL shops where you can buy things! Forget Stuff? You can go out and buy it. No worries!   I think my best advice would be 'pace yourself', a lot of hangovers from Friday Night led to grumpy, psychotic, early-night trannies on Saturday last year (and I can do that without a hangover!)     TOP THINGS TO TAKE:   1. Comfortable Shoes - my first Sparkle, I hit the Village at about 2pm on Friday afternoon in really high heels.... it was another TWELVE hours before I took them off! Heels for twelve hours is gonna hurt.... anyone. And the morning after is gonna hurt too! Mix comfy shoes and heels over the weekend.   2. Ear Plugs - a bit odd but hotels in the centre of Manchester are very noisy, usually with revellers outside and ALL night. If you want some sleep with a window open, they might help!   3. Desk Fan - if you're travelling by car then you can take the kitchen sink! A good thing to put in the car 'just in case' is a desk fan. If, and it is an 'if'', if its hot and your hotel has the heating on in mid-July (Grrrrr) then there's nothing worse than sweating as you're putting makeup on! I have gone out and bought a fan at previous Sparkles - if it's hot and sunny, fans will be expensive, if its cold and wet then you'll get a good deal!   4. Umbrella - it's Manchester!! Water-wings optional. I usually get a few little umbrellas at Tesco that are tiny and fit in a handbag, I usually lose a few too.   5. Towel - I like a lot of towels and over Sparkle you make take a lot of baths/showers to shave legs and things. Hotel towels can be crappy. I usually book a double or twin room to myself - double the towels!   6. George Clooney - he looks mature, respectable, treats you like a lady and... Your mum will love him!   7. Plan - it's a pain if you aren't travelling from home, having to pack EVERYTHING is impossible, plan what to take - from undies to outerwear. Get cracking NOW!   8. BIG Suitcase - you need to take everything and then add some more, take options for as many outfits as you can!   9. Shopping - Sparkle is a great excuse to treat yourself. It's also a great time to try new looks - what do you wear during the DAY in town on a summers afternoon? Yes, trannies in daylight! Many only come out at night!   10.  Medicines - hangover cures, aspirin, migraine tablets (just me?), indigestion tablets (tight corset?), etc, etc   ALSO - BE CAREFUL, ALWAYS! ------------------------------- TOP THINGS I ALWAYS FORGET (and have to dash out and buy!) - Toothbrush - Shaving foam - Make-up remover - Nail varnish remover - Water --------------------------------- And finally........ Sinister Safety Things I Always Take (and have never come close to needing!) - Tiny Rape Alarm - fits in my handbag outer pocket - Form of ID (Drivers Licence) - its waterproof when they find my body in the canal!   ---------------------- HAVE FUN AND GIVE ME A NUDGE!!!!!!!!! xxxxxxxxxxx
    1270 Posted by Julie Hawkwood
  • ((As ALWAYS with my posts on Transtastic, please don't take any offence. It's said with a smile and a sense of fun!))   Here is my collected experience transferred into tips for Sparkle Weekend!   Right now with weeks to go, you should be moisturising..... EVERYTHING!!! Moisturise NOW! Moisturising keeps away those wrinkles, looks after your skin that you will be shaving the ass off and makes make-up go on better. I know a lot of trannies don't moisturise cause it makes their skin shiny - well it's good for your skin and girls do it! AND don't forget knees and elbows need a good moisturise, Ladies!   And maybe think about buying some stocks and shares in 'Gillette', they are gonna get a sales peak in the next few weeks.   So... Sparkle is YOUR weekend! So get you girl on, get out and about and even escape the Village in a dress! There'll be trannies everywhere, even outside the Village, so be a girl about it!   Remember that Manchester, despite being Oop North, still has REAL shops where you can buy things! Forget Stuff? You can go out and buy it. No worries!   I think my best advice would be 'pace yourself', a lot of hangovers from Friday Night led to grumpy, psychotic, early-night trannies on Saturday last year (and I can do that without a hangover!)     TOP THINGS TO TAKE:   1. Comfortable Shoes - my first Sparkle, I hit the Village at about 2pm on Friday afternoon in really high heels.... it was another TWELVE hours before I took them off! Heels for twelve hours is gonna hurt.... anyone. And the morning after is gonna hurt too! Mix comfy shoes and heels over the weekend.   2. Ear Plugs - a bit odd but hotels in the centre of Manchester are very noisy, usually with revellers outside and ALL night. If you want some sleep with a window open, they might help!   3. Desk Fan - if you're travelling by car then you can take the kitchen sink! A good thing to put in the car 'just in case' is a desk fan. If, and it is an 'if'', if its hot and your hotel has the heating on in mid-July (Grrrrr) then there's nothing worse than sweating as you're putting makeup on! I have gone out and bought a fan at previous Sparkles - if it's hot and sunny, fans will be expensive, if its cold and wet then you'll get a good deal!   4. Umbrella - it's Manchester!! Water-wings optional. I usually get a few little umbrellas at Tesco that are tiny and fit in a handbag, I usually lose a few too.   5. Towel - I like a lot of towels and over Sparkle you make take a lot of baths/showers to shave legs and things. Hotel towels can be crappy. I usually book a double or twin room to myself - double the towels!   6. George Clooney - he looks mature, respectable, treats you like a lady and... Your mum will love him!   7. Plan - it's a pain if you aren't travelling from home, having to pack EVERYTHING is impossible, plan what to take - from undies to outerwear. Get cracking NOW!   8. BIG Suitcase - you need to take everything and then add some more, take options for as many outfits as you can!   9. Shopping - Sparkle is a great excuse to treat yourself. It's also a great time to try new looks - what do you wear during the DAY in town on a summers afternoon? Yes, trannies in daylight! Many only come out at night!   10.  Medicines - hangover cures, aspirin, migraine tablets (just me?), indigestion tablets (tight corset?), etc, etc   ALSO - BE CAREFUL, ALWAYS! ------------------------------- TOP THINGS I ALWAYS FORGET (and have to dash out and buy!) - Toothbrush - Shaving foam - Make-up remover - Nail varnish remover - Water --------------------------------- And finally........ Sinister Safety Things I Always Take (and have never come close to needing!) - Tiny Rape Alarm - fits in my handbag outer pocket - Form of ID (Drivers Licence) - its waterproof when they find my body in the canal!   ---------------------- HAVE FUN AND GIVE ME A NUDGE!!!!!!!!! xxxxxxxxxxx
    Jun 18, 2013 1270
  • 16 Jun 2013
    Following Bebe Brums Blog about the lack of voice for the transgendered in the LGBT World, I couldn't help but write this.....   At risk of being provocative, its difficult for the transgendered to have a voice in the LGBT Community when 95% of the 'transgendered' community are in it for sex and arent interested in the LGB? The LGBers like sex too I'm sure and for many of the transgendered, its not just sex but lifestyle too.   At Sparkle and many other times, trannies have a lot of fun in Manchesters 'Gay Village' - how much do they put back into it? How much do we give back to the LGBT Community that helps us? I despair that in Manchester, its not so much an LGBT Community but an LGB Community. The Concord builds great bridges and the efforts of 'Mary the Legs' do us proud.   In my younger days, I used to volunteer at Manchester Mardi Gras, I worked bars over the weekend and gave my wages to LGBT charities. I don't see many trannies these days at Manchester Pride, I know its busy, a bit hectic and you get ravaged (in a fun way) by lots of handsome boys - but its good for us to be seen.   WHO puts the 'T' in LGBT? WE DO! We need to put ourselves out there more and give back to those who have pioneered our rights!   Jules xxxxxx
    3689 Posted by Julie Hawkwood
  • Following Bebe Brums Blog about the lack of voice for the transgendered in the LGBT World, I couldn't help but write this.....   At risk of being provocative, its difficult for the transgendered to have a voice in the LGBT Community when 95% of the 'transgendered' community are in it for sex and arent interested in the LGB? The LGBers like sex too I'm sure and for many of the transgendered, its not just sex but lifestyle too.   At Sparkle and many other times, trannies have a lot of fun in Manchesters 'Gay Village' - how much do they put back into it? How much do we give back to the LGBT Community that helps us? I despair that in Manchester, its not so much an LGBT Community but an LGB Community. The Concord builds great bridges and the efforts of 'Mary the Legs' do us proud.   In my younger days, I used to volunteer at Manchester Mardi Gras, I worked bars over the weekend and gave my wages to LGBT charities. I don't see many trannies these days at Manchester Pride, I know its busy, a bit hectic and you get ravaged (in a fun way) by lots of handsome boys - but its good for us to be seen.   WHO puts the 'T' in LGBT? WE DO! We need to put ourselves out there more and give back to those who have pioneered our rights!   Jules xxxxxx
    Jun 16, 2013 3689
  • 15 May 2013
    I was looking for something in my car 'glove compartment' today. In amongst the usual car instruction manual and phone charger was...... a box of large 'King Edward' Cigars. I've kept a box of cigars in my car for many years and the idea behind it is that come the fateful day when I'm fired from my job then I can walk to my car, light and big cigar and think... stuff them. It's kind of like the old Hamlet Cigar Adverts, a moment of pleasure at a bad moment. AND then I thought, maybe I should keep a 'girl in a bag' for a similar moment. No, not a real girl in a bag, but the things to transform me into a girl. It could be an emergency bag so that if the worst happens, I can walk away, throw on some make-up, a dress and heels and ride off into the distance! Does anyone have an emergency 'girl in a bag' and WHAT would you put in it and WHEN would you need to get it out and ride off into the sunset? Jules xxx
    3305 Posted by Julie Hawkwood
  • I was looking for something in my car 'glove compartment' today. In amongst the usual car instruction manual and phone charger was...... a box of large 'King Edward' Cigars. I've kept a box of cigars in my car for many years and the idea behind it is that come the fateful day when I'm fired from my job then I can walk to my car, light and big cigar and think... stuff them. It's kind of like the old Hamlet Cigar Adverts, a moment of pleasure at a bad moment. AND then I thought, maybe I should keep a 'girl in a bag' for a similar moment. No, not a real girl in a bag, but the things to transform me into a girl. It could be an emergency bag so that if the worst happens, I can walk away, throw on some make-up, a dress and heels and ride off into the distance! Does anyone have an emergency 'girl in a bag' and WHAT would you put in it and WHEN would you need to get it out and ride off into the sunset? Jules xxx
    May 15, 2013 3305
  • 23 Mar 2013
    I was intrigued recently by a BBC Horizon Show where they investigated accidents during surgical operations by looking at other industries and jobs. For example, how could medical safety learn from airline safety? how can techniques used to make sure firefighters make the right life or death decisions be used by a surgeon?   So I got to thinking what can the transgendered learn from other, seemingly unrelated activities?   A big issue for me is going out into the big wide world dressed and being confident and at ease. Its fine in a safe trans environment but away from that - on a bus, in the street, in the mall? It's all too easy to be terrified and a nervous wreck. Where in the world can we find simple tricks to make us bold, confident and comfortable women?   So I looked out into the world.... where do people get nervous? Where do people get so totally and completely terrified that they can become quivering jellies and faint out cold? The main place I found..... PUBLIC SPEAKING!   Public speaking is something close to my heart. When I was at school, then college, then starting working, there were times when I would have to stand in front of an audience and speak. It used to terrify me! I could not sleep for weeks on end, I hated it. I would quite happily have done ANYTHING to avoid public speaking. Today, years later, public speaking is part of my daily life. I give technical presentations all the time, I present conference speeches and I am a part time university lecturer. If someone asks me to do a presentation, I gladly grab the chance and LOVE every minute. A big turnaround!   How I turned myself around to be a confident public speaker and enjoying it will be used in this article to being a confident public crossdresser. I have also researched other sources for being a confident speaker. I think many of these techniques work just as well to boost your confidence as you pass yourself off as a woman. And how often do we hear on Transtastic that confidence is the key to passing? The topics covered here are based on how to stop being a nervous wreck at public speaking but I hope you'll see an easy correlation to passing.   -------------------- 1. Visualisation   Visualisation is scientifically proven to work with athletes to improve their performance. By closing their eyes and visualising (imagining) themselves winning a race, it will make them faster.   Now, as transpeople, visualisation is probably a part of what we do. We imagine what we will look like as woman, what the clothes will feel like and many use this as a sexual turn on. So you know how to visualise. But instead of visualising that sexy woman slowly rolling a stocking up her silky thigh, visualise a confident woman in a simple, even boring, situation. Imagine you are completely accepted. No-one knows you are trans. Visualise yourself as a smiling, chatty, confident woman. Visualise YOU as the confident woman brightening everyone's day with your smile. Visualise YOU as that confident woman in the place you will go.   Visualise. Visualise in a POSITIVE way!   2. Make yourself a physical goddess   A great thing for nerves and stress is exercise! It's also good for your health, obviously, and its good for losing weight, looking more feminine, maybe even better for walking in high heels. Look after yourself. It helps in dressing in so many ways. If you look great it will boost your confidence.   Pamper yourself, exfoliate and moisturise, moisturise, moisturise! It doesn't take hours to get ready... it takes weeks! It's a full time job?   3. Fail to prepare, prepare to fail!   Good preparation is everything in public speaking. It's also true for crossdressing. You must plan what you will wear. Wear what other women in that situation wear. Go and scout where you will go, see what the real girls of your age wear. Go for the most common and average 'look'. I know we love to be feminine, I know we have been starved of our femininity - but don't, do not, go over the top. If you look plain, you will not attract attention and stick out like a sore thumb. You will look safer to approach and the muggles will be less scared!   So you have an idea of the 'look' that will fit in. Now you need the clothes to suit that look. Try them on at home, try everything on, see what compliments and looks best on you. Do a dress rehearsal, do some more. Take photos - video is even better. What do you look like, what do you move like? Most public speaking courses roll out a video camera at some point. The person we think we are isn't always what other see. So film yourself dressed, moving, standing, walking. Then analyse the video. What looked good, what needs work.   A key part of the dress rehearsal isn't just the clothes, it's the hair and make-up. Again, context is everything. Where are you going,what do the real girls wear and what looks good in your videos?   Shoes are important, wear comfy shoes! The best I have passed is when wearing flat Ugg Boots. I like a heel, it makes me walk feminine but adds height. Flats are great, real girls wear flats. Keep the six inch stilettos for the bedroom!   4. Practice, Practice, Practice   Practice is everything! The more you do it, the easier it is. That's why I now adore public speaking. I have done it so often, so regularly, in fact - it's what I do. I'm sure you remember your first time out dressed, even at a trans friendly place - I bet you were nervous. Your first time dressed in a shopping mall, you are bound to be nervous, it's natural. Your 10th time dressed in a shopping mall? Will you really care? This is called desensitisation, the more we are exposed to something, the easier we can handle it. Some speaking coaches talk about 'comfort challenges', doing something that scares us, takes us out of our comfort zone.   We can do 'comfort challenges' in our everyday lives. Put ourselves out, stop and ask for directions (even if you don't need them!). We can challenge ourselves socially and in public. Make your male self confident, approachable and a lovely social person will help you dressed.   5. Have great material!   In my speaking presentations, having great material makes the whole thing fun. Funny videos, fancy graphics and wow material make me disparate to show the world a great presentation. Why not for your trip out as a woman? Buy some great things that make you want to get out there and show the world! Lots of books on women confidence include something on underwear. Wearing expensive, luxurious matching bra and panties can give any woman confidence. Having a fabulous handbag, great shoes, perfect hair, nail varnish.... so many things can contribute to your 'great material'. BUT don't go over the top! Sometimes simple things can be gloriously classy and elegant.   6. Take pauses   When speaking, sometimes the nerves cut in and you can speak too fast. Sentences can all become strung together. STOP! Breathe and PAUSE.   It's the same out dressing and I am so guilty of this! As a tranny, it's tempting to rush about. It's a natural reaction to nerves - 'flight or fight'. We can take flight, rush around, looking nervous, looking suspicious - drawing even more attention to ourselves, making ourselves look dodgy and a little pervy. Look at real women in town. Very often they take their time, stop, be a little lackadaisical, real women..... PAUSE. And as you pause, keep your head up, make eye contact, smile - be confident. Even ask questions, make small talk. You're a transwoman, a human being, not a frightened man in a dress.   7. Focus on the Now   I have lost count of the times that I came across 'focus on the now' as I researched this. What is it? Nervousness comes from negative projections of what may happen sometime in the future. Or from what happened in the past, perhaps from the last time you went out dressed. When you instead focus your attention on what’s happening NOW, NOW and… NOW the nervousness dies out too. NOW you are living your dream, wearing a great outfit and NOW you are just another woman in the street.   8. Do a journal, record your experiences   This is an interesting one. Some public speaking gurus suggest this to record your thoughts - what went well, what could you do better. My first time out in Manchester City Centre in the 1990's dressed as a woman for a days shopping, I took a small notebook/journal with me. When I sat down in a coffee shop or got some lunch, I got my journal out and scribbled my thoughts of the experience. At the very least, it gave me something to occupy my time but also it gave me something to focus on. The whole world could be staring at me (no-one really cared) but I had my coffee and my journal. I felt glamorous, like a writer, I felt in control. It also made for a fun and interesting blog to post later. ((Being a tall girl, taking a long break SITTING is always good, Sitting makes you look smaller, I don't stand out so much))   9. Don't forget to breathe!!!!   Breathing is powerful, it can calm us down and flood the brain with oxygen. A simple few deep breaths make all the difference to bring calm and reduce nerves.   10. The old Transtastic Favourite: no-one really cares but.... theres always an asshole!   We've talked about this long and hard on Transtastic! Generally, people don't give a shit. They have their own worries, own bubbles, own stress to worry about. People don't care you're a tranny. If you get spotted, they still stumble along with their own worries. People are generally nice. People will admire you, admire your bravery, admire your figure. People are generally good and kind. BUT there is ALWAYS an asshole! Always! But whether you are a tranny, disabled, of a different ethnic group, very tall, very short, very fat, very thin, elderly... there is ALWAYS an asshole who might be rude. They are dumb and stupid but it's not their fault they have crappy genes. Move on and steer away from them.   Finally......   Some of this may work, some parts may work better for you, some may not. You may be blessed and pass with confidence already. You may have better ideas! If so, I'd love to hear them!   In Part Two, I look at how people overcome phobias to handle things that people never used to be able to even look at! In support of this research, I will be handling all sorts of things that really scare me ;)   Light and Love Always,   Jules xxxxxxx     DISCLAIMER: Always be careful, just like real women. You are a woman, you might be vulnerable. As a woman you wouldn't walk down a dark alley at midnight. You are precious and special - be careful!  
    1369 Posted by Julie Hawkwood
  • I was intrigued recently by a BBC Horizon Show where they investigated accidents during surgical operations by looking at other industries and jobs. For example, how could medical safety learn from airline safety? how can techniques used to make sure firefighters make the right life or death decisions be used by a surgeon?   So I got to thinking what can the transgendered learn from other, seemingly unrelated activities?   A big issue for me is going out into the big wide world dressed and being confident and at ease. Its fine in a safe trans environment but away from that - on a bus, in the street, in the mall? It's all too easy to be terrified and a nervous wreck. Where in the world can we find simple tricks to make us bold, confident and comfortable women?   So I looked out into the world.... where do people get nervous? Where do people get so totally and completely terrified that they can become quivering jellies and faint out cold? The main place I found..... PUBLIC SPEAKING!   Public speaking is something close to my heart. When I was at school, then college, then starting working, there were times when I would have to stand in front of an audience and speak. It used to terrify me! I could not sleep for weeks on end, I hated it. I would quite happily have done ANYTHING to avoid public speaking. Today, years later, public speaking is part of my daily life. I give technical presentations all the time, I present conference speeches and I am a part time university lecturer. If someone asks me to do a presentation, I gladly grab the chance and LOVE every minute. A big turnaround!   How I turned myself around to be a confident public speaker and enjoying it will be used in this article to being a confident public crossdresser. I have also researched other sources for being a confident speaker. I think many of these techniques work just as well to boost your confidence as you pass yourself off as a woman. And how often do we hear on Transtastic that confidence is the key to passing? The topics covered here are based on how to stop being a nervous wreck at public speaking but I hope you'll see an easy correlation to passing.   -------------------- 1. Visualisation   Visualisation is scientifically proven to work with athletes to improve their performance. By closing their eyes and visualising (imagining) themselves winning a race, it will make them faster.   Now, as transpeople, visualisation is probably a part of what we do. We imagine what we will look like as woman, what the clothes will feel like and many use this as a sexual turn on. So you know how to visualise. But instead of visualising that sexy woman slowly rolling a stocking up her silky thigh, visualise a confident woman in a simple, even boring, situation. Imagine you are completely accepted. No-one knows you are trans. Visualise yourself as a smiling, chatty, confident woman. Visualise YOU as the confident woman brightening everyone's day with your smile. Visualise YOU as that confident woman in the place you will go.   Visualise. Visualise in a POSITIVE way!   2. Make yourself a physical goddess   A great thing for nerves and stress is exercise! It's also good for your health, obviously, and its good for losing weight, looking more feminine, maybe even better for walking in high heels. Look after yourself. It helps in dressing in so many ways. If you look great it will boost your confidence.   Pamper yourself, exfoliate and moisturise, moisturise, moisturise! It doesn't take hours to get ready... it takes weeks! It's a full time job?   3. Fail to prepare, prepare to fail!   Good preparation is everything in public speaking. It's also true for crossdressing. You must plan what you will wear. Wear what other women in that situation wear. Go and scout where you will go, see what the real girls of your age wear. Go for the most common and average 'look'. I know we love to be feminine, I know we have been starved of our femininity - but don't, do not, go over the top. If you look plain, you will not attract attention and stick out like a sore thumb. You will look safer to approach and the muggles will be less scared!   So you have an idea of the 'look' that will fit in. Now you need the clothes to suit that look. Try them on at home, try everything on, see what compliments and looks best on you. Do a dress rehearsal, do some more. Take photos - video is even better. What do you look like, what do you move like? Most public speaking courses roll out a video camera at some point. The person we think we are isn't always what other see. So film yourself dressed, moving, standing, walking. Then analyse the video. What looked good, what needs work.   A key part of the dress rehearsal isn't just the clothes, it's the hair and make-up. Again, context is everything. Where are you going,what do the real girls wear and what looks good in your videos?   Shoes are important, wear comfy shoes! The best I have passed is when wearing flat Ugg Boots. I like a heel, it makes me walk feminine but adds height. Flats are great, real girls wear flats. Keep the six inch stilettos for the bedroom!   4. Practice, Practice, Practice   Practice is everything! The more you do it, the easier it is. That's why I now adore public speaking. I have done it so often, so regularly, in fact - it's what I do. I'm sure you remember your first time out dressed, even at a trans friendly place - I bet you were nervous. Your first time dressed in a shopping mall, you are bound to be nervous, it's natural. Your 10th time dressed in a shopping mall? Will you really care? This is called desensitisation, the more we are exposed to something, the easier we can handle it. Some speaking coaches talk about 'comfort challenges', doing something that scares us, takes us out of our comfort zone.   We can do 'comfort challenges' in our everyday lives. Put ourselves out, stop and ask for directions (even if you don't need them!). We can challenge ourselves socially and in public. Make your male self confident, approachable and a lovely social person will help you dressed.   5. Have great material!   In my speaking presentations, having great material makes the whole thing fun. Funny videos, fancy graphics and wow material make me disparate to show the world a great presentation. Why not for your trip out as a woman? Buy some great things that make you want to get out there and show the world! Lots of books on women confidence include something on underwear. Wearing expensive, luxurious matching bra and panties can give any woman confidence. Having a fabulous handbag, great shoes, perfect hair, nail varnish.... so many things can contribute to your 'great material'. BUT don't go over the top! Sometimes simple things can be gloriously classy and elegant.   6. Take pauses   When speaking, sometimes the nerves cut in and you can speak too fast. Sentences can all become strung together. STOP! Breathe and PAUSE.   It's the same out dressing and I am so guilty of this! As a tranny, it's tempting to rush about. It's a natural reaction to nerves - 'flight or fight'. We can take flight, rush around, looking nervous, looking suspicious - drawing even more attention to ourselves, making ourselves look dodgy and a little pervy. Look at real women in town. Very often they take their time, stop, be a little lackadaisical, real women..... PAUSE. And as you pause, keep your head up, make eye contact, smile - be confident. Even ask questions, make small talk. You're a transwoman, a human being, not a frightened man in a dress.   7. Focus on the Now   I have lost count of the times that I came across 'focus on the now' as I researched this. What is it? Nervousness comes from negative projections of what may happen sometime in the future. Or from what happened in the past, perhaps from the last time you went out dressed. When you instead focus your attention on what’s happening NOW, NOW and… NOW the nervousness dies out too. NOW you are living your dream, wearing a great outfit and NOW you are just another woman in the street.   8. Do a journal, record your experiences   This is an interesting one. Some public speaking gurus suggest this to record your thoughts - what went well, what could you do better. My first time out in Manchester City Centre in the 1990's dressed as a woman for a days shopping, I took a small notebook/journal with me. When I sat down in a coffee shop or got some lunch, I got my journal out and scribbled my thoughts of the experience. At the very least, it gave me something to occupy my time but also it gave me something to focus on. The whole world could be staring at me (no-one really cared) but I had my coffee and my journal. I felt glamorous, like a writer, I felt in control. It also made for a fun and interesting blog to post later. ((Being a tall girl, taking a long break SITTING is always good, Sitting makes you look smaller, I don't stand out so much))   9. Don't forget to breathe!!!!   Breathing is powerful, it can calm us down and flood the brain with oxygen. A simple few deep breaths make all the difference to bring calm and reduce nerves.   10. The old Transtastic Favourite: no-one really cares but.... theres always an asshole!   We've talked about this long and hard on Transtastic! Generally, people don't give a shit. They have their own worries, own bubbles, own stress to worry about. People don't care you're a tranny. If you get spotted, they still stumble along with their own worries. People are generally nice. People will admire you, admire your bravery, admire your figure. People are generally good and kind. BUT there is ALWAYS an asshole! Always! But whether you are a tranny, disabled, of a different ethnic group, very tall, very short, very fat, very thin, elderly... there is ALWAYS an asshole who might be rude. They are dumb and stupid but it's not their fault they have crappy genes. Move on and steer away from them.   Finally......   Some of this may work, some parts may work better for you, some may not. You may be blessed and pass with confidence already. You may have better ideas! If so, I'd love to hear them!   In Part Two, I look at how people overcome phobias to handle things that people never used to be able to even look at! In support of this research, I will be handling all sorts of things that really scare me ;)   Light and Love Always,   Jules xxxxxxx     DISCLAIMER: Always be careful, just like real women. You are a woman, you might be vulnerable. As a woman you wouldn't walk down a dark alley at midnight. You are precious and special - be careful!  
    Mar 23, 2013 1369