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  • 20 Feb 2018
    Posted by Cristine Shye. BL   April 10, 2011 12:41 am BST  11 comments   1,348 views Many anomalies such as AIS  (Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome) can arise causing inconsistent development between the various elements by which we know ourselves to be either a man or a women. Among the larger group embracing all these varieties, there is a small subgroup of individuals who experience gender varience The personal experience of this state is sometimes known as gender dysphoria (dysphoria means ‘unhappiness’). The impact of genetic and/or hormonal factors on their fetal development appears to cause parts of the brain to develop in a way which is inconsistent with their genitalia, gonads and, usually, with their chromosomes. This may give rise to another, rather different, example of XY women, that is, individuals whose visible physical sex appears to be that of a man, but whose brain has some female characteristics and whose gender identification is, therefore, that of a woman. Or, conversely, gender variance may occur the other way round. An individual having XX chromosomes and the visible physical sex of a female, may have some male brain characteristics and therefore, identify as a man. So the issue of one's gender identification, whether as a man or as a woman, or even neither (or both which occurs only rarely), is rooted in the brain, and is regarded by the individuals concerned, and is demonstrated by research, to be largely determined pre-birth and more or less stable thereafter.   Transexualism   Thus the experience of extreme gender variance is increasingly understood in scientific and medical disciplines as having a biological origin. The current medical viewpoint, based on the most up-to-date scientific research, is that this condition, which in its extreme manifestation is known as transexualism is strongly associated with unusual neurodevelopment of the brain at the fetal stage. Small areas of the brain are known to be distinctly different between males and females in the population generally. In those experiencing severe gender variance, some of these areas have been shown to develop in opposition to other sex characteristics and are, therefore, incongruent with the visible sex appearance.   Gender Variant Children   Very rarely, children may express this incongruence between gender identity and the genital sex, but their discomfort is not always easy to identify. Symptoms of unease with the assigned gender role and the visible sex appearance are often only apparent to the individuals concerned and may not be understood even by them. If these children are unable to articulate their unease, their discomfort may grow through adolescence and into adulthood, as their families and society, in ignorance of their underlying gender identity, relentlessly reinforce gender roles in accordance with their physical appearance alone. However, some children are able to express a strong cross-sex identification, and sometimes insist on living in the opposite role. In particular, the increasing disgust with the development of secondary sex characteristics experienced by young people during puberty may be taken as a strong indication that the condition will persist into adulthood as transsexualism. Therefore, in carefully screened individuals, hormone blocking treatment may be given, before pubertal changes become apparent, so that these young people have more time to decide in which gender role they can achieve lasting personal comfort. There is no evidence that raising children in contradiction to their visible sex characteristics causes gender variance, nor can the condition be overridden by raising children in strict accordance with a gender role that is consistent with their visible sex. Those who are not treated in adolescence may continue to struggle to conform; they may embark on relationships, marriages and parenthood in an attempt to lead ‘normal’ lives by suppressing their core gender identity. Ultimately, however, they may be unable to continue with the charade of presenting themselves as something they know they are not. The artificiality of their situation drives individuals to seek treatment to minimise the mismatch between the brain and the bodily appearance. They experience an overwhelming need to be complete, whole people and to live in accordance with their internal reality. Until this is achieved, the personal discomfort is such that it leads to great unhappiness and sometimes to suicidal feelings.
  • Posted by Cristine Shye. BL   April 10, 2011 12:41 am BST  11 comments   1,348 views Many anomalies such as AIS  (Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome) can arise causing inconsistent development between the various elements by which we know ourselves to be either a man or a women. Among the larger group embracing all these varieties, there is a small subgroup of individuals who experience gender varience The personal experience of this state is sometimes known as gender dysphoria (dysphoria means ‘unhappiness’). The impact of genetic and/or hormonal factors on their fetal development appears to cause parts of the brain to develop in a way which is inconsistent with their genitalia, gonads and, usually, with their chromosomes. This may give rise to another, rather different, example of XY women, that is, individuals whose visible physical sex appears to be that of a man, but whose brain has some female characteristics and whose gender identification is, therefore, that of a woman. Or, conversely, gender variance may occur the other way round. An individual having XX chromosomes and the visible physical sex of a female, may have some male brain characteristics and therefore, identify as a man. So the issue of one's gender identification, whether as a man or as a woman, or even neither (or both which occurs only rarely), is rooted in the brain, and is regarded by the individuals concerned, and is demonstrated by research, to be largely determined pre-birth and more or less stable thereafter.   Transexualism   Thus the experience of extreme gender variance is increasingly understood in scientific and medical disciplines as having a biological origin. The current medical viewpoint, based on the most up-to-date scientific research, is that this condition, which in its extreme manifestation is known as transexualism is strongly associated with unusual neurodevelopment of the brain at the fetal stage. Small areas of the brain are known to be distinctly different between males and females in the population generally. In those experiencing severe gender variance, some of these areas have been shown to develop in opposition to other sex characteristics and are, therefore, incongruent with the visible sex appearance.   Gender Variant Children   Very rarely, children may express this incongruence between gender identity and the genital sex, but their discomfort is not always easy to identify. Symptoms of unease with the assigned gender role and the visible sex appearance are often only apparent to the individuals concerned and may not be understood even by them. If these children are unable to articulate their unease, their discomfort may grow through adolescence and into adulthood, as their families and society, in ignorance of their underlying gender identity, relentlessly reinforce gender roles in accordance with their physical appearance alone. However, some children are able to express a strong cross-sex identification, and sometimes insist on living in the opposite role. In particular, the increasing disgust with the development of secondary sex characteristics experienced by young people during puberty may be taken as a strong indication that the condition will persist into adulthood as transsexualism. Therefore, in carefully screened individuals, hormone blocking treatment may be given, before pubertal changes become apparent, so that these young people have more time to decide in which gender role they can achieve lasting personal comfort. There is no evidence that raising children in contradiction to their visible sex characteristics causes gender variance, nor can the condition be overridden by raising children in strict accordance with a gender role that is consistent with their visible sex. Those who are not treated in adolescence may continue to struggle to conform; they may embark on relationships, marriages and parenthood in an attempt to lead ‘normal’ lives by suppressing their core gender identity. Ultimately, however, they may be unable to continue with the charade of presenting themselves as something they know they are not. The artificiality of their situation drives individuals to seek treatment to minimise the mismatch between the brain and the bodily appearance. They experience an overwhelming need to be complete, whole people and to live in accordance with their internal reality. Until this is achieved, the personal discomfort is such that it leads to great unhappiness and sometimes to suicidal feelings.
    Feb 20, 2018 13
  • 10 Feb 2018
    Yesterday was a big day. In Brighton for my GRS. It's been very emotional and even with the strongest of painkillers, a painful day. Now I start the road to recovery. Simone x
    74 Posted by Simone Jo
  • Yesterday was a big day. In Brighton for my GRS. It's been very emotional and even with the strongest of painkillers, a painful day. Now I start the road to recovery. Simone x
    Feb 10, 2018 74
  • 01 Feb 2018
    Prior to the GRA coming into force, one could not change their gender on the passport, because it was linked to their birth certificate, one had a doctors letter to explain the change of name and the contradictoray gender marker.    Prior to the Corbet V Corbet (April Ashley) 1970 one could change their gender on their birth certificate, passports & driving licence but during the a/m divorce the judge ruled . that because at the time of registration the gender marker on a birth certificate was a true fact, it could not be changed, the marriage was annulled, as being unlawful (The marriage was void ab initio) This also applied to passports regarding birth gender being a true fact at registration,  Which set back trans rights some 35 years.  In this forum there are case histories that brought about the advent of the GRA.   We have come a long way, the UK has probably the most all encompassing gender rights act in the world.    
  • Prior to the GRA coming into force, one could not change their gender on the passport, because it was linked to their birth certificate, one had a doctors letter to explain the change of name and the contradictoray gender marker.    Prior to the Corbet V Corbet (April Ashley) 1970 one could change their gender on their birth certificate, passports & driving licence but during the a/m divorce the judge ruled . that because at the time of registration the gender marker on a birth certificate was a true fact, it could not be changed, the marriage was annulled, as being unlawful (The marriage was void ab initio) This also applied to passports regarding birth gender being a true fact at registration,  Which set back trans rights some 35 years.  In this forum there are case histories that brought about the advent of the GRA.   We have come a long way, the UK has probably the most all encompassing gender rights act in the world.    
    Feb 01, 2018 32
  • 31 Jan 2018
    The Marriage (Same-Sex Couples) Act, 2013 Until the introduction of the Marriage (same-sex couples) Act, the only marriage available was between a ‘man’ and a ‘woman’. Many trans people were, and are still, in such long-term marriages. Prior to the introduction of this new Act, a married trans person, wishing to obtain a GRC, would either have to divorce, or to annul the marriage using an Interim GRC. A civil partnership could then be formed if the couple wished to stay together. However, under the Marriage (same-sex couples) Act, a marriage that pre-dated the new Act, in which one person wishes to obtain a GRC, can now be converted to a same-sex marriage, with the consent of the spouse; a civil partnership remains an option in these circumstances. Since the introduction of the 2013 Act, there are same-sex couples opting for this form of marriage, rather than a civil partnership. If one partner in the ‘same-sex marriage’ wishes to obtain a GRC, the same-sex marriage will have to be converted to ’marriage’ with the consent of the spouse. Pre-existing civil partnerships, where one partner transitions and is seeking to obtain a GRC, the couple must convert to marriage, with the consent of the non-trans partner.   Present Legal Situation From December 2014 it will be possible for trans people who are married or in a civil partnership to obtain gender recognition without having to divorce or to dissolve their civil partnership. Trans people who are married will be able to apply to the gender recognition panel using a new application process which will reflect the fact that some applicants will wish their marriage to continue on after gender recognition. Those in civil partnerships will be able to convert their civil partnership to a marriage before applying for gender recognition and then use the same process as other married applicants. Although you can apply under the new rules from the 16th, in practice it is likely that the first decisions on such applications will not be made by the panel until around spring 2015. ____________________________________  Cristine Jennifer Shye B.acc. BL (GS Admin) 
  • The Marriage (Same-Sex Couples) Act, 2013 Until the introduction of the Marriage (same-sex couples) Act, the only marriage available was between a ‘man’ and a ‘woman’. Many trans people were, and are still, in such long-term marriages. Prior to the introduction of this new Act, a married trans person, wishing to obtain a GRC, would either have to divorce, or to annul the marriage using an Interim GRC. A civil partnership could then be formed if the couple wished to stay together. However, under the Marriage (same-sex couples) Act, a marriage that pre-dated the new Act, in which one person wishes to obtain a GRC, can now be converted to a same-sex marriage, with the consent of the spouse; a civil partnership remains an option in these circumstances. Since the introduction of the 2013 Act, there are same-sex couples opting for this form of marriage, rather than a civil partnership. If one partner in the ‘same-sex marriage’ wishes to obtain a GRC, the same-sex marriage will have to be converted to ’marriage’ with the consent of the spouse. Pre-existing civil partnerships, where one partner transitions and is seeking to obtain a GRC, the couple must convert to marriage, with the consent of the non-trans partner.   Present Legal Situation From December 2014 it will be possible for trans people who are married or in a civil partnership to obtain gender recognition without having to divorce or to dissolve their civil partnership. Trans people who are married will be able to apply to the gender recognition panel using a new application process which will reflect the fact that some applicants will wish their marriage to continue on after gender recognition. Those in civil partnerships will be able to convert their civil partnership to a marriage before applying for gender recognition and then use the same process as other married applicants. Although you can apply under the new rules from the 16th, in practice it is likely that the first decisions on such applications will not be made by the panel until around spring 2015. ____________________________________  Cristine Jennifer Shye B.acc. BL (GS Admin) 
    Jan 31, 2018 36
  • 31 Jan 2018
    About Deed Polls What is a Deed Poll? A Deed Poll is a legal document - not a certificate. It is a form of legal contract but it differs from legal contracts between two or more parties in that it only concerns one person (and it is only signed by that person in the presence of a witness). A Deed Poll legally binds the person who signs it to a particular course of action as detailed on the Deed Poll document. Although Deed Poll documents are used for various purposes relating to an individual or a company legally committing themselves to doing something, they have one generally accepted meaning, that is, a change of name. However, the correct legal name for a deed that has been drawn up to change someone's name is a Deed of Change of Name (but more commonly known as a Deed Poll). A Deed Poll for a change of name contains three declarations and by executing the Deed Poll (signing, dating and having your signing witnessed) you are legally committing yourself to: Abandoning the use of your former name; Using your new name only at all times; Requiring all persons to address you by your new name only and most important to use/address you by any revised gender marker.  (Change of Name) Regulations 1994, Statutory Instrument 1994 No. 604.   ''The Adult Deed Poll will enable those persons aged 16 or over to change their legal name by Deed Poll.**people who have had or who are having gender reassignment may choose to change their gender title from Ms to Mr or vice versa. [in accordance with the UK gender Recognition Act 2004/05 as revised 2008}**'' this part the age limit is 18.     Many institutions, passport office, DVLA, DWP, banks will not accept a photo copy, so print of as many copies as you think you will need, sign each one and get each one witnessed, then they are all deemed legally, original documents.  Note photo copies of signatures is not accepted, by the passport office, DLVA, DWP. and most banks. in some cases if your the recipient of an inheritance, land registry or shares portfolio, you may be required to swear an affidavit, in front of a commissioner of oaths, usually about £7 who will be the recorded witness and he will hold a record of said swearing. people who have had or who are having gender reassignment may choose to change their gender title from Ms to Mr or vice versa. [in accordance with the UK gender Recognition Act 2004/05 as revised 2008}**'' this part the age limit is 18. Prior to the GRA coming into force, one could not change their gender on the passport, because it was linked to their birth certificate, one had a doctors letter to explain the change of name and the contradictoray gender marker.    Prior to the Corbet V Corbet (April Ashley) 1970 one could change their gender on their birth certificate, but during the a/m divorce the judge ruled . that because at the time of registration the gender marker on a birth certificate was a true fact, it could not be changed, the marriage was anulled, as being unlawful (The marriage was void ab initio) This also applied to passports regarding birth gender being a true fact at registration,  Which set back trans rights some 35 years.  In this forum there are case histories that brought about the advent of the GRA.   We have come a long way, the UK has probably the most all encompassing gender rights act in the world. "Many online companies will print their deed polls to look like certificates using watermarked paper, embossed with an official-looking seal. But these have no legal status and are not a necessary part of the legal process to change your name... Furthermore, the Ministry of Justice does not regulate, monitor or approve any documents issued by online deed poll companies."   The above mentioned companies often try to fool you into thinking it must be done through them, with official-sounding names like, "The UK Deed Poll Service". I could start my own such company and do the same, but I'm not a charlatan. You can buy a plot of land on the moon or have a star named after you too, but don't be fooled; they're all crooks. No-one owns the moon, the stars, or your identity. A change of name deed is simply a "contract with yourself", but it must be signed by a witness who is not a member of your immediate family. Make several "originals" and get your witness to sign each one; many companies will require sight of the orginal and will not accept a photocopy, always ask them to return it and provide a stamped, addressed envelope. As soon as you have made your deed poll apply for a new driving licence and passport, it's a straightforward process, forms available from the post office, probably downloadable from the internet too. These will be invaluable in proving your identity to banks and other official bodies. For interest A Deed Poll is a legal document binding only to a single person or several persons acting jointly to express an active intention. It has been said that a Deed Poll is a form of contract; however, the law of contract provides that, in order to enter into a contract, there must be two persons whereby one person will do something in exchange for the other persons promise. It can therefore be said that a Deed Poll is strictly speaking not a contract because it generally binds only one party and expresses an intention (i.e. an intention to change a name) instead of a promise (i.e. a promise to change a name in exchange for something else). The term "deed", also known in this context as a "specialty", is common to signed written agreements not supported by consideration: the seal (even if not a literal wax seal but only a notional one referred to by the execution formula, "signed, sealed and delivered", or even merely "executed as a deed") is deemed to be the consideration necessary to support the contract between the parties to the deed. "Poll" is an archaic legal term referring to documents with straight edges; these distinguished a deed binding only one person from one affecting more than a single person (an "indenture", so named during the time when such agreements would be written out repeatedly on a single sheet, then irregularly torn or "indented" so that each party had a document with corresponding tears, so as to discourage forgery). Unlike the law today, it used to be that a Christian name (i.e. the name given at baptism) could only be changed under ecclesiastical law by the bishop on that person's subsequent confirmation. However, the case of Re Parrott, Cox v Parrott [1946] Ch 183, [1946] 1 All ER 321 provides that a Christian name can be changed if the following words are inserted therein 'Notwithstanding the decision of Mr Justice Vaisey in the case of Re Parrott's Will Trust, Cox v Parrott, the applicant desires the enrolment to proceed."  3.5 Passports The Passports Act 2008, section 11, offers an important avenue for recognition of the acquired gender of a transsexual person.  For this purpose, a person who is transsexual may seek a passport in their new name and have their new sex entered therein.  This does not confer any right or entitlement not connected with the purposes of the Passports Act. For instance, it would not alter the legal gender of the person for the purpose of marriage law or entitle one to a reissued birth certificate noting the acquired gender. which is a consideration for The Gender Recognition Panel. Medical record-keeping for trans people can be a challenge for clinicians and staff. Names and titles must be changed to reflect current gender status; this should always be done as a matter of courtesy and is not dependent on having a Gender Recognition Certificate. However, most doctors prefer to have evidence of the permanency of the name change, by way of Deed Poll or Statutory Declaration before making official changes to the patient notes. Treatment must not be withheld on the basis that a patient has not provided either of these documents.According to the GP notebook site: "Trans patients have a legal right to change their name and gender on their NHS records and would be able to bring a civil claim against any GP or practice which refused to accede to their request"."The process is as follows:" the patient informs the GP, or directly informs the PCT, that they are transitioning and that in future they would be known by their new name and gender. They can write a "Statutory Declaration", they may have a deed poll document, or they may simply make a request. This request should be in writing, signed by the patient;" the GP writes to the Registration Office at the PCT. The GP may write a letter of support confirming the gender role change and that this change is intended to be permanent, but this is not a requirement;" the Registration Office then writes to the Personal Demographics' Service National Back Office. The National Back Office will create a new identity with a new NHS number and requests the records held by the patient's GP. These records are then transferred to the new identity and forwarded to the GP;" on receipt, the GP surgery changes any remaining patient information including the gender marker, pronouns and names."  
  • About Deed Polls What is a Deed Poll? A Deed Poll is a legal document - not a certificate. It is a form of legal contract but it differs from legal contracts between two or more parties in that it only concerns one person (and it is only signed by that person in the presence of a witness). A Deed Poll legally binds the person who signs it to a particular course of action as detailed on the Deed Poll document. Although Deed Poll documents are used for various purposes relating to an individual or a company legally committing themselves to doing something, they have one generally accepted meaning, that is, a change of name. However, the correct legal name for a deed that has been drawn up to change someone's name is a Deed of Change of Name (but more commonly known as a Deed Poll). A Deed Poll for a change of name contains three declarations and by executing the Deed Poll (signing, dating and having your signing witnessed) you are legally committing yourself to: Abandoning the use of your former name; Using your new name only at all times; Requiring all persons to address you by your new name only and most important to use/address you by any revised gender marker.  (Change of Name) Regulations 1994, Statutory Instrument 1994 No. 604.   ''The Adult Deed Poll will enable those persons aged 16 or over to change their legal name by Deed Poll.**people who have had or who are having gender reassignment may choose to change their gender title from Ms to Mr or vice versa. [in accordance with the UK gender Recognition Act 2004/05 as revised 2008}**'' this part the age limit is 18.     Many institutions, passport office, DVLA, DWP, banks will not accept a photo copy, so print of as many copies as you think you will need, sign each one and get each one witnessed, then they are all deemed legally, original documents.  Note photo copies of signatures is not accepted, by the passport office, DLVA, DWP. and most banks. in some cases if your the recipient of an inheritance, land registry or shares portfolio, you may be required to swear an affidavit, in front of a commissioner of oaths, usually about £7 who will be the recorded witness and he will hold a record of said swearing. people who have had or who are having gender reassignment may choose to change their gender title from Ms to Mr or vice versa. [in accordance with the UK gender Recognition Act 2004/05 as revised 2008}**'' this part the age limit is 18. Prior to the GRA coming into force, one could not change their gender on the passport, because it was linked to their birth certificate, one had a doctors letter to explain the change of name and the contradictoray gender marker.    Prior to the Corbet V Corbet (April Ashley) 1970 one could change their gender on their birth certificate, but during the a/m divorce the judge ruled . that because at the time of registration the gender marker on a birth certificate was a true fact, it could not be changed, the marriage was anulled, as being unlawful (The marriage was void ab initio) This also applied to passports regarding birth gender being a true fact at registration,  Which set back trans rights some 35 years.  In this forum there are case histories that brought about the advent of the GRA.   We have come a long way, the UK has probably the most all encompassing gender rights act in the world. "Many online companies will print their deed polls to look like certificates using watermarked paper, embossed with an official-looking seal. But these have no legal status and are not a necessary part of the legal process to change your name... Furthermore, the Ministry of Justice does not regulate, monitor or approve any documents issued by online deed poll companies."   The above mentioned companies often try to fool you into thinking it must be done through them, with official-sounding names like, "The UK Deed Poll Service". I could start my own such company and do the same, but I'm not a charlatan. You can buy a plot of land on the moon or have a star named after you too, but don't be fooled; they're all crooks. No-one owns the moon, the stars, or your identity. A change of name deed is simply a "contract with yourself", but it must be signed by a witness who is not a member of your immediate family. Make several "originals" and get your witness to sign each one; many companies will require sight of the orginal and will not accept a photocopy, always ask them to return it and provide a stamped, addressed envelope. As soon as you have made your deed poll apply for a new driving licence and passport, it's a straightforward process, forms available from the post office, probably downloadable from the internet too. These will be invaluable in proving your identity to banks and other official bodies. For interest A Deed Poll is a legal document binding only to a single person or several persons acting jointly to express an active intention. It has been said that a Deed Poll is a form of contract; however, the law of contract provides that, in order to enter into a contract, there must be two persons whereby one person will do something in exchange for the other persons promise. It can therefore be said that a Deed Poll is strictly speaking not a contract because it generally binds only one party and expresses an intention (i.e. an intention to change a name) instead of a promise (i.e. a promise to change a name in exchange for something else). The term "deed", also known in this context as a "specialty", is common to signed written agreements not supported by consideration: the seal (even if not a literal wax seal but only a notional one referred to by the execution formula, "signed, sealed and delivered", or even merely "executed as a deed") is deemed to be the consideration necessary to support the contract between the parties to the deed. "Poll" is an archaic legal term referring to documents with straight edges; these distinguished a deed binding only one person from one affecting more than a single person (an "indenture", so named during the time when such agreements would be written out repeatedly on a single sheet, then irregularly torn or "indented" so that each party had a document with corresponding tears, so as to discourage forgery). Unlike the law today, it used to be that a Christian name (i.e. the name given at baptism) could only be changed under ecclesiastical law by the bishop on that person's subsequent confirmation. However, the case of Re Parrott, Cox v Parrott [1946] Ch 183, [1946] 1 All ER 321 provides that a Christian name can be changed if the following words are inserted therein 'Notwithstanding the decision of Mr Justice Vaisey in the case of Re Parrott's Will Trust, Cox v Parrott, the applicant desires the enrolment to proceed."  3.5 Passports The Passports Act 2008, section 11, offers an important avenue for recognition of the acquired gender of a transsexual person.  For this purpose, a person who is transsexual may seek a passport in their new name and have their new sex entered therein.  This does not confer any right or entitlement not connected with the purposes of the Passports Act. For instance, it would not alter the legal gender of the person for the purpose of marriage law or entitle one to a reissued birth certificate noting the acquired gender. which is a consideration for The Gender Recognition Panel. Medical record-keeping for trans people can be a challenge for clinicians and staff. Names and titles must be changed to reflect current gender status; this should always be done as a matter of courtesy and is not dependent on having a Gender Recognition Certificate. However, most doctors prefer to have evidence of the permanency of the name change, by way of Deed Poll or Statutory Declaration before making official changes to the patient notes. Treatment must not be withheld on the basis that a patient has not provided either of these documents.According to the GP notebook site: "Trans patients have a legal right to change their name and gender on their NHS records and would be able to bring a civil claim against any GP or practice which refused to accede to their request"."The process is as follows:" the patient informs the GP, or directly informs the PCT, that they are transitioning and that in future they would be known by their new name and gender. They can write a "Statutory Declaration", they may have a deed poll document, or they may simply make a request. This request should be in writing, signed by the patient;" the GP writes to the Registration Office at the PCT. The GP may write a letter of support confirming the gender role change and that this change is intended to be permanent, but this is not a requirement;" the Registration Office then writes to the Personal Demographics' Service National Back Office. The National Back Office will create a new identity with a new NHS number and requests the records held by the patient's GP. These records are then transferred to the new identity and forwarded to the GP;" on receipt, the GP surgery changes any remaining patient information including the gender marker, pronouns and names."  
    Jan 31, 2018 54
  • 28 Jan 2018
    We've seen that there are many variations and combinations of gender conditions, across a wide continuum of possibilities. These are major realities that deeply affect the lives of large numbers of people in close human love relationships. Unfortunately, we don't yet have a truly adequate vocabulary for talking about this wide range of phenomena, and most people are left to their own devices when struggling to cope with gender confusions or transgender identities in their love relationships. The tendency of psychiatrists, psychologists, physicians and gender counselors to "label" us as "transvestites", ''crossdressers'', "transgender", "transsexual", etc., can greatly obscure what is going on in any given case. Gender-variant people themselves often get trapped into confusions and arguments about these labels. Counselors and their clients often dwell endlessly on questions such as "is this person (or am I) a transvestite, or really a transsexual?"  Or, "is this person a DQ or a TG or a TS?" And on and on it goes, often with an overlay of judgementalism, paternalism and condescension, with some conditions being "more acceptable" than others, or vice-versa, depending who you talk to! Wouldn't it be better to ask questions, rather than try to answer meaningless questions with and about ill-defined labels? Someone may be crossdressing, but that may or may not mean that they are a "transvestite". They could be TG or TS or DQ instead. Someone may be taking hormones and enjoy their breast development, but that doesn't necessarily mean that they are TS or even TG for that matter! Can you see how labels get in the way? Labels give the illusion of standing for something real, but when you probe deeper, they sort of evaporate! We are what we do, what we feel, how we behave, and what trajectory we follow. We are always a "work in progress", just as all other human beings are. We cannot be defined once and for all by simply having a label pinned on us.  What really counts is what you are feeling inside. What is your body and heart telling you that you need to do? What behaviors have you actually been engaging in? What experiences have you actually had? What gender trajectory seems to make sense for you? What physical and social changes can you, and should you make in order to find a more natural and comfortable physical/social place in life. Can you make those changes and follow that trajectory without sacrificing too much, in employment, family relations, and expectations for finding a love partner in your later life?   Now those are real questions that need real answers. Someone cannot simply diagnose you and tell you: "You are TS, and thus you should do X, Y and Z". It just doesn't work that way. It is far more complex than that.  There are so many variables that it doesn't make sense to attempt "in advance" to try to figure out who is CD vs TG vs TS. You find out by watching what they actually do over time. Some people crossdress and that is enough to make them happy. You could call them "CD's", but how do you know what they might do in ten years? Some people go on to transition socially (usually with the aid of hormones). You could call them "TG's", but what does that really mean? After all, they might go further and get SRS someday, or they might even de-transition someday. Some people go on to social transition and also undergo sex reassignment surgery. You might call them "TS's"  this too has proven to be a mistake in some cases. The only thing that you CAN be sure of, when it comes to others, is their real observed behaviors and trajectories: If someone crossdresses, that is a REAL behavior and you can say "that person crossdresses". If someone undergoes social transition, that is a REAL behavior and change-point in their gender trajectory. You can say "so and so underwent TG transition". If someone transitions socially and undergoes SRS, that too is a REAL behavior and change-point in their gender trajectory. You can say, "so and so underwent a TS transition". But there is no meaning to labeling these people as CD, TG and TS - except as a sort of "shorthand notation" for very informally referring to those people.   Gender-minority labels don't work any better for pinning down "gender minority roles" than "role-playing" used to work to define meaningful real roles in the gay community. Labels, and the presumed roles that go along with them, are just too static. Labels are too confining and too limiting in their effect on people. They are useless as predictors of what someone should do and actually will do as they discover how they really need to live and present themselves to society. Only you can decide what your heart and body are telling you to do at that particular time in your life,, what behaviors you should explore, and what detailed gender trajectory you should follow. In doing so, you should consider the widest range of options and possibilities. Do not jump to the conclusion that you are a "CD", or are a "TS", and then mimic stereotypes of "what a CD should do or not do", or what "a TS should or should not do". As you go along, be sure to allow your gender trajectory to veer off in possibly unexpected directions from your originally predicted path, as your body and heart learn to feel new things along the way.    This post was edited by Cristine Shye. BL at October 5, 2014 2:11 pm BST ____________________________________  Cristine Jennifer Shye B.acc. BL (GS Admin) 
  • We've seen that there are many variations and combinations of gender conditions, across a wide continuum of possibilities. These are major realities that deeply affect the lives of large numbers of people in close human love relationships. Unfortunately, we don't yet have a truly adequate vocabulary for talking about this wide range of phenomena, and most people are left to their own devices when struggling to cope with gender confusions or transgender identities in their love relationships. The tendency of psychiatrists, psychologists, physicians and gender counselors to "label" us as "transvestites", ''crossdressers'', "transgender", "transsexual", etc., can greatly obscure what is going on in any given case. Gender-variant people themselves often get trapped into confusions and arguments about these labels. Counselors and their clients often dwell endlessly on questions such as "is this person (or am I) a transvestite, or really a transsexual?"  Or, "is this person a DQ or a TG or a TS?" And on and on it goes, often with an overlay of judgementalism, paternalism and condescension, with some conditions being "more acceptable" than others, or vice-versa, depending who you talk to! Wouldn't it be better to ask questions, rather than try to answer meaningless questions with and about ill-defined labels? Someone may be crossdressing, but that may or may not mean that they are a "transvestite". They could be TG or TS or DQ instead. Someone may be taking hormones and enjoy their breast development, but that doesn't necessarily mean that they are TS or even TG for that matter! Can you see how labels get in the way? Labels give the illusion of standing for something real, but when you probe deeper, they sort of evaporate! We are what we do, what we feel, how we behave, and what trajectory we follow. We are always a "work in progress", just as all other human beings are. We cannot be defined once and for all by simply having a label pinned on us.  What really counts is what you are feeling inside. What is your body and heart telling you that you need to do? What behaviors have you actually been engaging in? What experiences have you actually had? What gender trajectory seems to make sense for you? What physical and social changes can you, and should you make in order to find a more natural and comfortable physical/social place in life. Can you make those changes and follow that trajectory without sacrificing too much, in employment, family relations, and expectations for finding a love partner in your later life?   Now those are real questions that need real answers. Someone cannot simply diagnose you and tell you: "You are TS, and thus you should do X, Y and Z". It just doesn't work that way. It is far more complex than that.  There are so many variables that it doesn't make sense to attempt "in advance" to try to figure out who is CD vs TG vs TS. You find out by watching what they actually do over time. Some people crossdress and that is enough to make them happy. You could call them "CD's", but how do you know what they might do in ten years? Some people go on to transition socially (usually with the aid of hormones). You could call them "TG's", but what does that really mean? After all, they might go further and get SRS someday, or they might even de-transition someday. Some people go on to social transition and also undergo sex reassignment surgery. You might call them "TS's"  this too has proven to be a mistake in some cases. The only thing that you CAN be sure of, when it comes to others, is their real observed behaviors and trajectories: If someone crossdresses, that is a REAL behavior and you can say "that person crossdresses". If someone undergoes social transition, that is a REAL behavior and change-point in their gender trajectory. You can say "so and so underwent TG transition". If someone transitions socially and undergoes SRS, that too is a REAL behavior and change-point in their gender trajectory. You can say, "so and so underwent a TS transition". But there is no meaning to labeling these people as CD, TG and TS - except as a sort of "shorthand notation" for very informally referring to those people.   Gender-minority labels don't work any better for pinning down "gender minority roles" than "role-playing" used to work to define meaningful real roles in the gay community. Labels, and the presumed roles that go along with them, are just too static. Labels are too confining and too limiting in their effect on people. They are useless as predictors of what someone should do and actually will do as they discover how they really need to live and present themselves to society. Only you can decide what your heart and body are telling you to do at that particular time in your life,, what behaviors you should explore, and what detailed gender trajectory you should follow. In doing so, you should consider the widest range of options and possibilities. Do not jump to the conclusion that you are a "CD", or are a "TS", and then mimic stereotypes of "what a CD should do or not do", or what "a TS should or should not do". As you go along, be sure to allow your gender trajectory to veer off in possibly unexpected directions from your originally predicted path, as your body and heart learn to feel new things along the way.    This post was edited by Cristine Shye. BL at October 5, 2014 2:11 pm BST ____________________________________  Cristine Jennifer Shye B.acc. BL (GS Admin) 
    Jan 28, 2018 39

Top Blogs

  • 18 Dec 2014
    The Gender Clinic   2009 I had decided enough was enough. I needed help with this horrid transgendered curse which was doing its best to wreck my life. First stop GP. She was great. Second stop a selection of shrinks who referred me to the Gender Clinic as well as diagnosing me as pretty mental. First appointment was a long wait. But when it came it was quite nice being able to spill my guts out to an expert. I think I've been maybe 6 times now. During this period I've changed my name am dosed up on high levels of hormones and lifes great.   A Summary Of Yesterdays Appointment   I love hormones. The serenity from having near zero testosterone in my body. My bits don't work at all anymore which I couldn't care less about. I cannot be arsed with having my bits cut off and i don't like fannies anyway. I'm very single because I haven't got a clue about my sexual orientation and I'm not going to inflict that on anyone, but I do have a cat. People don't treat me as female, but they don't treat me as male either, i'm just different, which I like. I've had mainly very positive reactions to my gender choices. I am reintegrated into regular society. I'm no longer a webcam 'girl'.  My body has become very feminine which does confuse people. Sometimes I wear makeup and a hairpiece sometimes I don't, depends on my mood. Basically I'm a contented little tranny.   Bye Bye   So I'm exactly where I want to be with it all. The happiest I have been in years. So subsequently I have been told I don't have to go anymore. Their job is done, GP still deals with blood tests, hormones etc but thats it. I guess I'm what they would describe as a success story. So apart from one incident in there I have to say thanks to them as they have really helped me turn my life around.
    37 Posted by Mia Wallace
  • The Gender Clinic   2009 I had decided enough was enough. I needed help with this horrid transgendered curse which was doing its best to wreck my life. First stop GP. She was great. Second stop a selection of shrinks who referred me to the Gender Clinic as well as diagnosing me as pretty mental. First appointment was a long wait. But when it came it was quite nice being able to spill my guts out to an expert. I think I've been maybe 6 times now. During this period I've changed my name am dosed up on high levels of hormones and lifes great.   A Summary Of Yesterdays Appointment   I love hormones. The serenity from having near zero testosterone in my body. My bits don't work at all anymore which I couldn't care less about. I cannot be arsed with having my bits cut off and i don't like fannies anyway. I'm very single because I haven't got a clue about my sexual orientation and I'm not going to inflict that on anyone, but I do have a cat. People don't treat me as female, but they don't treat me as male either, i'm just different, which I like. I've had mainly very positive reactions to my gender choices. I am reintegrated into regular society. I'm no longer a webcam 'girl'.  My body has become very feminine which does confuse people. Sometimes I wear makeup and a hairpiece sometimes I don't, depends on my mood. Basically I'm a contented little tranny.   Bye Bye   So I'm exactly where I want to be with it all. The happiest I have been in years. So subsequently I have been told I don't have to go anymore. Their job is done, GP still deals with blood tests, hormones etc but thats it. I guess I'm what they would describe as a success story. So apart from one incident in there I have to say thanks to them as they have really helped me turn my life around.
    Dec 18, 2014 37
  • 13 Oct 2013
    Is it me?   Well not sure how to put this but here goes. Is it me or does anyone else feel that those who have gone through the full transition Don’t feel they fit in any more I have had 2 friends who have had the full transition and have left here Due to the way they are spoken to and both have a gone through what a lot of us are aiming to do And have great advice and are both counselling other trans girls in different stages of the journey I know they do as I do think in some way this fabulous site has taken a turn to more Fetish Cross Dressing which yes is all part of the trans scene in ways. 50 shades of grey doesn’t cut it here it’s more like 500 shades of grey lol But I do feel upset that friends and other post op girls who yes are now women feel they don’t belong I do say live and let live for all walks of life but it does come to a shock in ways to me that We have in a word discrimination against each other here Why can’t we all get along I have said before in the immortal words of high school musical   “We’re all in this together” so let’s start being united in what we do To quote a friend who has left “Peace love and lip gloss” Hugs xxamyxx 
    35 Posted by Amymichelle Morris
  • Is it me?   Well not sure how to put this but here goes. Is it me or does anyone else feel that those who have gone through the full transition Don’t feel they fit in any more I have had 2 friends who have had the full transition and have left here Due to the way they are spoken to and both have a gone through what a lot of us are aiming to do And have great advice and are both counselling other trans girls in different stages of the journey I know they do as I do think in some way this fabulous site has taken a turn to more Fetish Cross Dressing which yes is all part of the trans scene in ways. 50 shades of grey doesn’t cut it here it’s more like 500 shades of grey lol But I do feel upset that friends and other post op girls who yes are now women feel they don’t belong I do say live and let live for all walks of life but it does come to a shock in ways to me that We have in a word discrimination against each other here Why can’t we all get along I have said before in the immortal words of high school musical   “We’re all in this together” so let’s start being united in what we do To quote a friend who has left “Peace love and lip gloss” Hugs xxamyxx 
    Oct 13, 2013 35
  • 24 Jan 2014
    hi ya just asking i do love albumn suggestions and like looking at pics but please if ya have ya knob out please dont suggest as i like girly shots clothes and make up so you look nice a cock in stockings aint girly . i dont mind if you are into that and dressing is a fetish each to their own    live and let live i say  i dress because i love being a girl i know im a guy (a cock in a frock lol) but i like the illusion  thats why i tuck it away      but i cant or wont hit the like button because ya got ya dangleys out lol and i dont want to appear rude by not liking it so its best all round    big hugs and to coin a phrase a friend of mine uses   peace love and lipgloss xxxxxxx   xxamyxx
    31 Posted by Amymichelle Morris
  • hi ya just asking i do love albumn suggestions and like looking at pics but please if ya have ya knob out please dont suggest as i like girly shots clothes and make up so you look nice a cock in stockings aint girly . i dont mind if you are into that and dressing is a fetish each to their own    live and let live i say  i dress because i love being a girl i know im a guy (a cock in a frock lol) but i like the illusion  thats why i tuck it away      but i cant or wont hit the like button because ya got ya dangleys out lol and i dont want to appear rude by not liking it so its best all round    big hugs and to coin a phrase a friend of mine uses   peace love and lipgloss xxxxxxx   xxamyxx
    Jan 24, 2014 31
  • 14 Mar 2015
    Well today has been somewhat different for me, not only was it my mum's Birthday, but i also took her into The Village for a few drinks this afternoon and then onto velvet for a lovely Birthday meal, I had been promising to take her into Manchester for a long time - So I thought why not!  And yes before you ask, i was in girlie mode. Mum has known about Liz for quite a while now and is very comfortable with the Trans side of me and is always asking if I've bought any new clothes, and most of all hates how good my legs look! I chat to my mum everyday whether that is by text or a phone call, i always do, the thing is my mum like all of your parents and those close to you are not getting any younger, you should always grab the chance to speak to them whenever you can and spend as much time as you can with them. OK today was not the usual party atmosphere that we are accustomed to when we pop into the village on a Saturday, but more of a qualitiy precious time spent chatting in a relaxed environment with the woman who brought me into this world, helping "MUM" celebrate her birthday with Liz and not Ian.  Her words to me as I've just dropped her off at home " I have loved every second of today" like i said quality time.    Myself and Mum in Paddy's  And Mum enjoying another Cider in Via. So folks, wht not get yourselves off out and enjoy the preicous time while you can, you never know what's round the corner. Hugs  Liz and Marion (Mum) x
  • Well today has been somewhat different for me, not only was it my mum's Birthday, but i also took her into The Village for a few drinks this afternoon and then onto velvet for a lovely Birthday meal, I had been promising to take her into Manchester for a long time - So I thought why not!  And yes before you ask, i was in girlie mode. Mum has known about Liz for quite a while now and is very comfortable with the Trans side of me and is always asking if I've bought any new clothes, and most of all hates how good my legs look! I chat to my mum everyday whether that is by text or a phone call, i always do, the thing is my mum like all of your parents and those close to you are not getting any younger, you should always grab the chance to speak to them whenever you can and spend as much time as you can with them. OK today was not the usual party atmosphere that we are accustomed to when we pop into the village on a Saturday, but more of a qualitiy precious time spent chatting in a relaxed environment with the woman who brought me into this world, helping "MUM" celebrate her birthday with Liz and not Ian.  Her words to me as I've just dropped her off at home " I have loved every second of today" like i said quality time.    Myself and Mum in Paddy's  And Mum enjoying another Cider in Via. So folks, wht not get yourselves off out and enjoy the preicous time while you can, you never know what's round the corner. Hugs  Liz and Marion (Mum) x
    Mar 14, 2015 27
  • 16 Aug 2015
    Ok I know this blog isn't full of cock shots and all things kinky - but hey it is a little different! Yesterday myself and Shar went to a wedding reception and in my moment of madness I said "fuck it I'm going in girlie mode". So I started getting ready to the amusement of Shar, saying people won't know where to look, anyway I got ready and off we went, presant in hand. I wasn't feeling nervous, just good to be getting out again, although in a very straight and normal atmosphere. We arrived and I walk straight in greeted Sammy the bride and her new husband, to her amazement it was me Ian - but Liz! Having a mingle with the muggels and a chat to work colleagues, to my amazement no one actually read me apart from my work mates, who knew about Liz but had never actually met for real, apart from my ill fitting shoes being to big - yes to big I had a pleasant evening and it was a change from the norm! The moral to my blog is, if you dress with right attitude then why can't all of you lovely girls get out there and burst the bubble! Till next time, Hugs Liz x
  • Ok I know this blog isn't full of cock shots and all things kinky - but hey it is a little different! Yesterday myself and Shar went to a wedding reception and in my moment of madness I said "fuck it I'm going in girlie mode". So I started getting ready to the amusement of Shar, saying people won't know where to look, anyway I got ready and off we went, presant in hand. I wasn't feeling nervous, just good to be getting out again, although in a very straight and normal atmosphere. We arrived and I walk straight in greeted Sammy the bride and her new husband, to her amazement it was me Ian - but Liz! Having a mingle with the muggels and a chat to work colleagues, to my amazement no one actually read me apart from my work mates, who knew about Liz but had never actually met for real, apart from my ill fitting shoes being to big - yes to big I had a pleasant evening and it was a change from the norm! The moral to my blog is, if you dress with right attitude then why can't all of you lovely girls get out there and burst the bubble! Till next time, Hugs Liz x
    Aug 16, 2015 27
  • 26 Jul 2015
    Preparing for “D-Day” (“D” for “Disclosure”)   Stratford on Avon  May 2015  After Christmas I decided I was going to live out the rest of my life as a woman on a 24/7 basis.  I’m 70 next year and it was ‘now or never’.  For nearly 9 months I had been living as a woman at home and when out and about in the nearby towns but had not ‘come out’ to my friends and acquaintances in the village where I live.   I went dressed as a man when I disclosed my transgenderism to my (lady) doctor but took some photos with me, some dating back more than 50 years, so I could satisfy her this wasn’t just a recent phenomenon and that I hadn’t gone doolally because of my wife’s death early last year.   She was bowled over by the photos and asked me if I would give her make-up lessons so she could look 20 years younger too!    She immediately acceded to my request for a referral to the gender identity clinic (GIC) but then she had no option really, as there are strict NHS protocols and guidelines concerning transgender matters. As luck would have it, my local GIC was immediately next door in the ‘cottage’ hospital on the same campus as my doctor’s surgery; wasn’t I a lucky girl?  This hasn’t quickened up in the slightest the inordinately slow GIC process though.   She also changed my male name on the NHS records to that of my unofficially adopted female name and the NHS now only knows me as a female named Ms Trines Ward. All correspondence comes in that name. Any male doctor wishing to examine me must wheel in a female chaperone for my protection!  Recently I had an emergency operation and the hospital kept insisting I had to be put in a female ward; I only just managed to avoid this as I felt ill women and their visitors would not want to see me in the next bed without wig or make-up! In the male ward I wore androgynous pink and blue short pyjamas but the board above my bed clearly stated ‘Ms Trines Ward—female” as did the labels around my arm and ankle, and the staff punctiliously referred to me amongst staff and patients, as ‘she’ or ‘her’.   Back at the GIC, they informed me it was run by two psychiatrists and I would need a separate assessment consultation with each one before any treatment would be considered. There was a four months’ wait for each session which meant nothing could even begin to happen until October/November!  I thought this was completely out of order and I thoroughly read the two main published guidelines (both are on the net):   1. “Good practice guidelines for the assessment and treatment of adults with gender dysphoria” ref CR181 published by Royal College of Pyschiatrists Oct 2013   2) “Gender dysphoria services: a guide for General Practitioners and other healthcare staff” published by NHS.   These showed me my GIC’s timescales did not comply and some polite but firm letters and phone calls from me got the waits reduced to two months each; still lengthy but within the guidelines.  I can understand caution when dealing with tyros in their late teens/early twenties who might not even have ventured out dressed in public but not when dealing with very long in the tooth, fully experienced trans like me who know precisely where and how far they wish to go.   Both psychiatrists concluded I am fully transsexual and were happy to ‘take me all the way’. I’m not so sure. I’m not body dysphoric as far as my meat and two veg are concerned, in view of my age and recent bereavement I’m not seeking another partner, and neither am I gay so as Trines you might say I’m lesbian, so why would I want to lose my ‘wobbly bits’? I think I will be content to present myself as best I can as a woman even if I continue to have things in my knickers that other girls don’t have!  Provided I tuck no-one else will know whether I’ve had full reassignment or not.  What I want more than anything is feminising hormones so I can have effective facial and body hair removal and benefit from their desirable side-effects although at my age I cannot, unfortunately, expect oestrogen to give me any breast tissue   Meanwhile, I had to tell my three children and their families and then plan going fully public.   Whilst my wife ‘knew’ about me before we married, we agreed to keep it a secret from everyone for the protection both of our children and my wife from the substantial public opprobrium and ridicule they would have suffered, certainly back in the ‘70’s and ‘80’s. Indeed, on leaving home in the early 70’s I tried living full-time as a woman but had to give it up after 6 months because of the immense public hostility I suffered and the impossibility of getting a worthwhile job.   I now needed to inform my children of my condition and of my wish to ‘go public’. This would not be easy—and it wasn’t!  I paid for them to have quite expensive sessions with a counsellor experienced in transgender issues and this most definitely helped. All three of them are now fully supportive although my son, in particular, is still having trouble fully coming to terms with the ‘new’ me.  Fortunately there is a huge amount of love in my family and we will get there.   In 'Butch Biker Bitch' mode (Transtastic  photoshoot Feb 2015)   I have grandchildren by two of them and because they were all terribly upset by the death early last year of their granny, and they still are, my children do not want them to go through another bereavement because of the ‘loss’ of their granddad and neither do they want to risk them suffering cyber bullying so, for the time being at least, I have to be ‘granddad’ whenever I see them. I can do this wearing women’s shoes, trousers and tops so it is not too uncomfortable for me. It is a price I will pay if I have to.   With the children informed and ‘on board’ I was now, at long, long last  free to ‘go public’!  I had been planning this for several months as I wanted to try and ensure I would have the best possible result in terms of tolerance and acceptance by my local community.   I have lived in my fairly large village, population just over 2,000, for 15 years, 14 of those with my wife.  I have actively joined in with the local community, trying always to be nice to everyone, performing and directing with the drama society, secretary of the Twinning Association for many years, socialising in the four pubs, playing and umpiring for the cricket team, helping to organise village fetes etc.  In addition, I’ve always had a part-time job as deputy manager of the village’s very busy canal marina, selling boats and organising their big boat rallies and festivals. In addition, as a qualified Boat Master and passenger boat skipper, I give boat handling instruction throughout the inland waterways on my own account.   So I am very well known and, I like to think, well regarded  not only in the village but also through the large and widespread canal community. Coming out to all these many hundreds of people seemed to be a fearsome step to take, something I wasn’t sure I could manage.   I could of course always ‘cut and run’ by selling up, moving to a nice little house in a pleasant town somewhere, presenting myself immediately as Trines.  This way, I would not suffer any ridicule or shunning by people I knew. True. But the whole purpose of my fully transitioning was to be able to lead a full, entertaining and social life as Trines and to be accepted by and join in with my local community. If I moved away, I would not be known and, as an obvious transwoman, I would not make many new friends at all,.  I would be facing a rather lonely remainder of my life.   I didn’t struggle with this decision for very long, I bit the bullet and decided to openly disclose to my village; if it all went disastrously wrong then moving away would be my ‘Plan B’.   Family unity is so important to me I discussed every proposed step with my children and took on board all their suggestions. The doctor already knew, was professionally bound to secrecy and had got the NHS fully on side.   My next step was the vicar. I do have faith but for reasons I will not go into here had never attended the local church except for the occasional wedding and funeral. I knew her well through secular dealings and she had been fantastic over my wife’s funeral. I met her in male mode, told her I would like to start attending church services, that I wouldn’t mind singing in the choir (I knew they were desperately short and had no male voices at all) but there was just one tiny thing, I would be coming as a woman!  She was of course amazed by the news (my male persona is exceptionally masculine), bowled over by my photo’s and couldn’t wait to meet the real me which she did a few days later.   She was all for Trines being an active member of her congregation, brought her wardens confidentially on board for briefing on transgender matters so they could counsel any stroppy church members and got her bishop’s backing she could tell anyone who couldn’t freely accept me to clear off and find a different religion!  A target date of the first week in June was set and until then I would attend church and sing in the choir as a man and she would subliminally prepare everyone by seeding suitable comments about accepting and loving everyone regardless of their differences in the texts of her sermons, bidding prayers and in the Village News!   This now left me free to concentrate on my information leaflet. I had decided I would, the week before my transition, go round in drab to see every one of my friends and important acquaintances and tell them what I was proposing to do, show them some current and very historic photos if they wanted to see them, hope I could rely on their acceptance and continued friendship and leave them with an informative and illustrated leaflet which they could pass on to others if they wished.  This leaflet went through 6 or 7 draft stages and I was careful to include  things my children wanted said. I had 250 of these professionally printed on top quality, thick, glossy bi-folded A4  paper so they could easily withstand being passed around:- (if the type is too small to read, zoom in by pressing 'Ctrl' & '+' together):-   So the last week in May, the week before ‘D-Day’, arrived!   I went round telling all my friends and left them with a leaflet. I saw each pub licensee, leaving  half a dozen copies behind the bar as I was bound to be the village scandal for a few days and also got their promises that if any Neanderthals objected to my presence it would be them asked to leave the pub and not me. I had also booked a personal conference that week with my marina owner and his general manager. They had been on tenterhooks for weeks, fearful I was retiring or moving away. They seemed almost relieved when I told them Tony was becoming Trines, it was almost “Is that all? Thank God for that!” Subject to a private preview of the new me they were, as friends as well as equal opportunity employers, happy for me to continue in the role for them, dealing with the public. I’ve had to have new female uniforms bespoken as nothing off the peg was long enough and I made sure everything hugs my breast, waist and hips shapewear tightly. The office girls are green with envy as I look rather voluptuous and sexy—they have already demanded the same made to measure facility!   That Sunday I was not in church as I was managing the marina. The vicar took the opportunity of telling the congregation about me, how from the following week I would always be Trines,  and apparently spoke so beautifully and movingly on transgenderism  and why I should be embraced by them all,  there were quite a few damp eyes in the house. The wardens distributed my leaflets afterwards.    D - Day ! and its Aftermath   The following Monday, 1st June, Trines made her first public appearance in the village and Tony has never been seen since (except of course a couple of times down in London with the grandchildren).   Against all my fears and trepidation my public disclosure and transition has been an absolutely unbelievable success, beyond my wildest dreams.  I had told myself that if I could retain the goodwill of perhaps a third of my friends then that would be a good and acceptable result, making staying in the village worthwhile.  30%?  It’s greater than 100% as I now have more friends than before because of my transition!   People I’ve not seen before but who have read my leaflet or heard about me have been coming up in the street or pub to shake my hand, commend my bravery and to wish me luck!  I’ve had a rather nasty and emergency operation recently and news of this spread with the result that people, many of them my ’new’ friends, were falling over themselves, offering to drive me to and from hospital or to meet family at Rugby station and take them to visit me—a round trip of about 50 miles!   All my neighbours and friends are still very friendly, I can’t accept all the invites round for coffee etc, there are too many of them. I’m really welcome at church and am possibly the only lady bass in a church choir in the country! The church has put me on their fete committee and wants me to be the PA announcer and dog show commentator at the next one. I continue to work at the marina with no adverse feedback whatsoever from the public. I’ve recently been in charge of safety at the big annual historic boat rally, we get thousands of visitors each day, and had to go round telling loads of boat skippers and others what to do  (it’s like herding cats with them) - they all know me from previous years but if anything they were all nicer, friendlier and more compliant than they’ve ever been!  My boat training business has not dropped off in the slightest, no-one gives my transition a second thought when I inform them. The Twinning Association has asked me to prepare and present their next fund-raising quiz (a big annual event in the village). I’m cast in the next Players’ production, rehearsals start in September.  I’m very welcome in all four pubs and am never short of someone to chat to. I’ve been elected a member of a small, rather exclusive group of ladies who meet every few weeks to cattily swap the latest gossip and scandal whilst getting hammered on G&T!  I have even been asked if I would like to help out at the community-owned tea shop, serving coffee, cakes and conversation to villagers and passing boaters - which I will do after my current convalescence.   If anything my social life as Trines is better than it was for that person I used to be (what was his name?) and it wasn’t bad for him, so much so I think I am losing the need to meet up with my other trans friends as much as I used to. After all, there is nothing so satisfying as being accepted and socialised by ’normal’ people for the girl you are. I shall of course still get to Pink Punters occasionally as I will to Outskirts in Birmingham and come Hell or High Water I am definitely getting to Sparkle next year after it was so cruelly snatched from me this year by a cancerous tumour.   Those of you who’ve managed not to nod off but are still reading this and possibly thinking of transitioning yourselves at some time in the future, might like to have my views on why I think my public disclosure has been so successful.   1. I decided to brazen it out in the locality where I lived and was known, rather than move to a new location. Had it been necessary to move first then I might have delayed my local transition for a year or two so that I could get to know a fair number of people as a man. That would not, of course, have stopped me cross-dressing at home or from going out further afield in female mode.   2. I was well established and well-known in the locality, joined in community activities and, always trying to be a nice guy, I think I was generally well liked. Whilst having to come to terms with a friend’s transgenderism must be more difficult the better someone has known the person as a man, I think there may be that little more pressure to do so because they are a friend; if they were not or hardly known then, to avoid embarrassment or other difficulties I think people might be tempted to more or less ignore the trans, giving perhaps just a smile if meeting in the street.   3. I took my time and planned well!  I had been dressing almost every day since May 2014 at home and when out sight-seeing, shopping or socialising with other trans in towns near and far. I only presented as a man locally when I had to eg for a social function in my village or when I was working in the marina. By the end of the year the urge to go 24/7 was stronger than ever and I realised I had no option but to go for it and disclosed to my GP to get the GIC on my case. I then gave myself 6 months to prepare for ‘D-Day’ (‘Disclosure Day’).   Most reputable websites advise taking disclosure very slowly, telling only a few now, a few more in a couple of weeks and so on. This would not have suited my circumstances. It would have been highly confusing for villagers - and for me - to see me switching between Trines and Tony on a daily basis; it would have to be all, and this would be on 1st June. I brought the vicar on board for genuine reasons but she also was a sounding-board; if she and her wardens had been decidedly ‘iffy’ about it all I probably would have sounded out again with a friend on whom I could rely for discretion or possibly have decided to switch to Plan B (ie ‘cut & run’).   4. I prepared and distributed an information leaflet.   I had tremendously complimentary feedback; many thought this had been a master-stroke. Even a lot of my better educated friends confessed to knowing little or nothing about transgenderism despite the number of high profile cases reported in the press over recent months. They said they thought they would have been much less sympathetic over my situation and proposed actions had they not been able to read and think about it. Some said they would have simply put me down as a ’perv’!  My history dating back to age 4 was genuinely eye-opening to them and made them really want to help me through my transition. It also worked on people who did not know me.  I distributed just under 250 but I know a lot were passed around and perhaps some 500 villagers or more have seen and been quite affected by it. I strongly recommend anyone thinking of transitioning to prepare a similar leaflet.   5. Once I publicly transitioned I really ‘put myself about’.  I realised I would need to socialise as much as I could to reinforce my presence as Trines in the village and to get villagers talking to me. I made sure I visited each pub each week at a peak time. I attended village do’s, some of which I would never have gone to previously, just to make sure I was seen and for the chance to chat to others. I went on more walks around the village, canal and marina in order to meet lots of others. I invited many to my place for a coffee and chat which they either agreed to or invited me to theirs instead.  I will take this up again as soon as my convalescence permits me and rather nicely, I’ve had quite a few offers to mow my lawns and do other heavy household chores.   The inhabitants of my village have really come up trumps; their generosity of spirit has been truly humbling particularly when you consider that at 6ft 3in without heels (and I always wear heels!) a large, wide frame and a profoundly deep voice, I cannot easily 'pass'.   Whether, in view of my cancer, I will ever be allowed feminising hormones or will ever be offered re-assignment surgery has now paled into insignificance for me now that I am living and being widely accepted as the person I am.   I sincerely hope all other girls who publicly transition have family, friends and neighbours as lovely as mine to deal with.   All my love   x x  
    26 Posted by Trines x x
  • Preparing for “D-Day” (“D” for “Disclosure”)   Stratford on Avon  May 2015  After Christmas I decided I was going to live out the rest of my life as a woman on a 24/7 basis.  I’m 70 next year and it was ‘now or never’.  For nearly 9 months I had been living as a woman at home and when out and about in the nearby towns but had not ‘come out’ to my friends and acquaintances in the village where I live.   I went dressed as a man when I disclosed my transgenderism to my (lady) doctor but took some photos with me, some dating back more than 50 years, so I could satisfy her this wasn’t just a recent phenomenon and that I hadn’t gone doolally because of my wife’s death early last year.   She was bowled over by the photos and asked me if I would give her make-up lessons so she could look 20 years younger too!    She immediately acceded to my request for a referral to the gender identity clinic (GIC) but then she had no option really, as there are strict NHS protocols and guidelines concerning transgender matters. As luck would have it, my local GIC was immediately next door in the ‘cottage’ hospital on the same campus as my doctor’s surgery; wasn’t I a lucky girl?  This hasn’t quickened up in the slightest the inordinately slow GIC process though.   She also changed my male name on the NHS records to that of my unofficially adopted female name and the NHS now only knows me as a female named Ms Trines Ward. All correspondence comes in that name. Any male doctor wishing to examine me must wheel in a female chaperone for my protection!  Recently I had an emergency operation and the hospital kept insisting I had to be put in a female ward; I only just managed to avoid this as I felt ill women and their visitors would not want to see me in the next bed without wig or make-up! In the male ward I wore androgynous pink and blue short pyjamas but the board above my bed clearly stated ‘Ms Trines Ward—female” as did the labels around my arm and ankle, and the staff punctiliously referred to me amongst staff and patients, as ‘she’ or ‘her’.   Back at the GIC, they informed me it was run by two psychiatrists and I would need a separate assessment consultation with each one before any treatment would be considered. There was a four months’ wait for each session which meant nothing could even begin to happen until October/November!  I thought this was completely out of order and I thoroughly read the two main published guidelines (both are on the net):   1. “Good practice guidelines for the assessment and treatment of adults with gender dysphoria” ref CR181 published by Royal College of Pyschiatrists Oct 2013   2) “Gender dysphoria services: a guide for General Practitioners and other healthcare staff” published by NHS.   These showed me my GIC’s timescales did not comply and some polite but firm letters and phone calls from me got the waits reduced to two months each; still lengthy but within the guidelines.  I can understand caution when dealing with tyros in their late teens/early twenties who might not even have ventured out dressed in public but not when dealing with very long in the tooth, fully experienced trans like me who know precisely where and how far they wish to go.   Both psychiatrists concluded I am fully transsexual and were happy to ‘take me all the way’. I’m not so sure. I’m not body dysphoric as far as my meat and two veg are concerned, in view of my age and recent bereavement I’m not seeking another partner, and neither am I gay so as Trines you might say I’m lesbian, so why would I want to lose my ‘wobbly bits’? I think I will be content to present myself as best I can as a woman even if I continue to have things in my knickers that other girls don’t have!  Provided I tuck no-one else will know whether I’ve had full reassignment or not.  What I want more than anything is feminising hormones so I can have effective facial and body hair removal and benefit from their desirable side-effects although at my age I cannot, unfortunately, expect oestrogen to give me any breast tissue   Meanwhile, I had to tell my three children and their families and then plan going fully public.   Whilst my wife ‘knew’ about me before we married, we agreed to keep it a secret from everyone for the protection both of our children and my wife from the substantial public opprobrium and ridicule they would have suffered, certainly back in the ‘70’s and ‘80’s. Indeed, on leaving home in the early 70’s I tried living full-time as a woman but had to give it up after 6 months because of the immense public hostility I suffered and the impossibility of getting a worthwhile job.   I now needed to inform my children of my condition and of my wish to ‘go public’. This would not be easy—and it wasn’t!  I paid for them to have quite expensive sessions with a counsellor experienced in transgender issues and this most definitely helped. All three of them are now fully supportive although my son, in particular, is still having trouble fully coming to terms with the ‘new’ me.  Fortunately there is a huge amount of love in my family and we will get there.   In 'Butch Biker Bitch' mode (Transtastic  photoshoot Feb 2015)   I have grandchildren by two of them and because they were all terribly upset by the death early last year of their granny, and they still are, my children do not want them to go through another bereavement because of the ‘loss’ of their granddad and neither do they want to risk them suffering cyber bullying so, for the time being at least, I have to be ‘granddad’ whenever I see them. I can do this wearing women’s shoes, trousers and tops so it is not too uncomfortable for me. It is a price I will pay if I have to.   With the children informed and ‘on board’ I was now, at long, long last  free to ‘go public’!  I had been planning this for several months as I wanted to try and ensure I would have the best possible result in terms of tolerance and acceptance by my local community.   I have lived in my fairly large village, population just over 2,000, for 15 years, 14 of those with my wife.  I have actively joined in with the local community, trying always to be nice to everyone, performing and directing with the drama society, secretary of the Twinning Association for many years, socialising in the four pubs, playing and umpiring for the cricket team, helping to organise village fetes etc.  In addition, I’ve always had a part-time job as deputy manager of the village’s very busy canal marina, selling boats and organising their big boat rallies and festivals. In addition, as a qualified Boat Master and passenger boat skipper, I give boat handling instruction throughout the inland waterways on my own account.   So I am very well known and, I like to think, well regarded  not only in the village but also through the large and widespread canal community. Coming out to all these many hundreds of people seemed to be a fearsome step to take, something I wasn’t sure I could manage.   I could of course always ‘cut and run’ by selling up, moving to a nice little house in a pleasant town somewhere, presenting myself immediately as Trines.  This way, I would not suffer any ridicule or shunning by people I knew. True. But the whole purpose of my fully transitioning was to be able to lead a full, entertaining and social life as Trines and to be accepted by and join in with my local community. If I moved away, I would not be known and, as an obvious transwoman, I would not make many new friends at all,.  I would be facing a rather lonely remainder of my life.   I didn’t struggle with this decision for very long, I bit the bullet and decided to openly disclose to my village; if it all went disastrously wrong then moving away would be my ‘Plan B’.   Family unity is so important to me I discussed every proposed step with my children and took on board all their suggestions. The doctor already knew, was professionally bound to secrecy and had got the NHS fully on side.   My next step was the vicar. I do have faith but for reasons I will not go into here had never attended the local church except for the occasional wedding and funeral. I knew her well through secular dealings and she had been fantastic over my wife’s funeral. I met her in male mode, told her I would like to start attending church services, that I wouldn’t mind singing in the choir (I knew they were desperately short and had no male voices at all) but there was just one tiny thing, I would be coming as a woman!  She was of course amazed by the news (my male persona is exceptionally masculine), bowled over by my photo’s and couldn’t wait to meet the real me which she did a few days later.   She was all for Trines being an active member of her congregation, brought her wardens confidentially on board for briefing on transgender matters so they could counsel any stroppy church members and got her bishop’s backing she could tell anyone who couldn’t freely accept me to clear off and find a different religion!  A target date of the first week in June was set and until then I would attend church and sing in the choir as a man and she would subliminally prepare everyone by seeding suitable comments about accepting and loving everyone regardless of their differences in the texts of her sermons, bidding prayers and in the Village News!   This now left me free to concentrate on my information leaflet. I had decided I would, the week before my transition, go round in drab to see every one of my friends and important acquaintances and tell them what I was proposing to do, show them some current and very historic photos if they wanted to see them, hope I could rely on their acceptance and continued friendship and leave them with an informative and illustrated leaflet which they could pass on to others if they wished.  This leaflet went through 6 or 7 draft stages and I was careful to include  things my children wanted said. I had 250 of these professionally printed on top quality, thick, glossy bi-folded A4  paper so they could easily withstand being passed around:- (if the type is too small to read, zoom in by pressing 'Ctrl' & '+' together):-   So the last week in May, the week before ‘D-Day’, arrived!   I went round telling all my friends and left them with a leaflet. I saw each pub licensee, leaving  half a dozen copies behind the bar as I was bound to be the village scandal for a few days and also got their promises that if any Neanderthals objected to my presence it would be them asked to leave the pub and not me. I had also booked a personal conference that week with my marina owner and his general manager. They had been on tenterhooks for weeks, fearful I was retiring or moving away. They seemed almost relieved when I told them Tony was becoming Trines, it was almost “Is that all? Thank God for that!” Subject to a private preview of the new me they were, as friends as well as equal opportunity employers, happy for me to continue in the role for them, dealing with the public. I’ve had to have new female uniforms bespoken as nothing off the peg was long enough and I made sure everything hugs my breast, waist and hips shapewear tightly. The office girls are green with envy as I look rather voluptuous and sexy—they have already demanded the same made to measure facility!   That Sunday I was not in church as I was managing the marina. The vicar took the opportunity of telling the congregation about me, how from the following week I would always be Trines,  and apparently spoke so beautifully and movingly on transgenderism  and why I should be embraced by them all,  there were quite a few damp eyes in the house. The wardens distributed my leaflets afterwards.    D - Day ! and its Aftermath   The following Monday, 1st June, Trines made her first public appearance in the village and Tony has never been seen since (except of course a couple of times down in London with the grandchildren).   Against all my fears and trepidation my public disclosure and transition has been an absolutely unbelievable success, beyond my wildest dreams.  I had told myself that if I could retain the goodwill of perhaps a third of my friends then that would be a good and acceptable result, making staying in the village worthwhile.  30%?  It’s greater than 100% as I now have more friends than before because of my transition!   People I’ve not seen before but who have read my leaflet or heard about me have been coming up in the street or pub to shake my hand, commend my bravery and to wish me luck!  I’ve had a rather nasty and emergency operation recently and news of this spread with the result that people, many of them my ’new’ friends, were falling over themselves, offering to drive me to and from hospital or to meet family at Rugby station and take them to visit me—a round trip of about 50 miles!   All my neighbours and friends are still very friendly, I can’t accept all the invites round for coffee etc, there are too many of them. I’m really welcome at church and am possibly the only lady bass in a church choir in the country! The church has put me on their fete committee and wants me to be the PA announcer and dog show commentator at the next one. I continue to work at the marina with no adverse feedback whatsoever from the public. I’ve recently been in charge of safety at the big annual historic boat rally, we get thousands of visitors each day, and had to go round telling loads of boat skippers and others what to do  (it’s like herding cats with them) - they all know me from previous years but if anything they were all nicer, friendlier and more compliant than they’ve ever been!  My boat training business has not dropped off in the slightest, no-one gives my transition a second thought when I inform them. The Twinning Association has asked me to prepare and present their next fund-raising quiz (a big annual event in the village). I’m cast in the next Players’ production, rehearsals start in September.  I’m very welcome in all four pubs and am never short of someone to chat to. I’ve been elected a member of a small, rather exclusive group of ladies who meet every few weeks to cattily swap the latest gossip and scandal whilst getting hammered on G&T!  I have even been asked if I would like to help out at the community-owned tea shop, serving coffee, cakes and conversation to villagers and passing boaters - which I will do after my current convalescence.   If anything my social life as Trines is better than it was for that person I used to be (what was his name?) and it wasn’t bad for him, so much so I think I am losing the need to meet up with my other trans friends as much as I used to. After all, there is nothing so satisfying as being accepted and socialised by ’normal’ people for the girl you are. I shall of course still get to Pink Punters occasionally as I will to Outskirts in Birmingham and come Hell or High Water I am definitely getting to Sparkle next year after it was so cruelly snatched from me this year by a cancerous tumour.   Those of you who’ve managed not to nod off but are still reading this and possibly thinking of transitioning yourselves at some time in the future, might like to have my views on why I think my public disclosure has been so successful.   1. I decided to brazen it out in the locality where I lived and was known, rather than move to a new location. Had it been necessary to move first then I might have delayed my local transition for a year or two so that I could get to know a fair number of people as a man. That would not, of course, have stopped me cross-dressing at home or from going out further afield in female mode.   2. I was well established and well-known in the locality, joined in community activities and, always trying to be a nice guy, I think I was generally well liked. Whilst having to come to terms with a friend’s transgenderism must be more difficult the better someone has known the person as a man, I think there may be that little more pressure to do so because they are a friend; if they were not or hardly known then, to avoid embarrassment or other difficulties I think people might be tempted to more or less ignore the trans, giving perhaps just a smile if meeting in the street.   3. I took my time and planned well!  I had been dressing almost every day since May 2014 at home and when out sight-seeing, shopping or socialising with other trans in towns near and far. I only presented as a man locally when I had to eg for a social function in my village or when I was working in the marina. By the end of the year the urge to go 24/7 was stronger than ever and I realised I had no option but to go for it and disclosed to my GP to get the GIC on my case. I then gave myself 6 months to prepare for ‘D-Day’ (‘Disclosure Day’).   Most reputable websites advise taking disclosure very slowly, telling only a few now, a few more in a couple of weeks and so on. This would not have suited my circumstances. It would have been highly confusing for villagers - and for me - to see me switching between Trines and Tony on a daily basis; it would have to be all, and this would be on 1st June. I brought the vicar on board for genuine reasons but she also was a sounding-board; if she and her wardens had been decidedly ‘iffy’ about it all I probably would have sounded out again with a friend on whom I could rely for discretion or possibly have decided to switch to Plan B (ie ‘cut & run’).   4. I prepared and distributed an information leaflet.   I had tremendously complimentary feedback; many thought this had been a master-stroke. Even a lot of my better educated friends confessed to knowing little or nothing about transgenderism despite the number of high profile cases reported in the press over recent months. They said they thought they would have been much less sympathetic over my situation and proposed actions had they not been able to read and think about it. Some said they would have simply put me down as a ’perv’!  My history dating back to age 4 was genuinely eye-opening to them and made them really want to help me through my transition. It also worked on people who did not know me.  I distributed just under 250 but I know a lot were passed around and perhaps some 500 villagers or more have seen and been quite affected by it. I strongly recommend anyone thinking of transitioning to prepare a similar leaflet.   5. Once I publicly transitioned I really ‘put myself about’.  I realised I would need to socialise as much as I could to reinforce my presence as Trines in the village and to get villagers talking to me. I made sure I visited each pub each week at a peak time. I attended village do’s, some of which I would never have gone to previously, just to make sure I was seen and for the chance to chat to others. I went on more walks around the village, canal and marina in order to meet lots of others. I invited many to my place for a coffee and chat which they either agreed to or invited me to theirs instead.  I will take this up again as soon as my convalescence permits me and rather nicely, I’ve had quite a few offers to mow my lawns and do other heavy household chores.   The inhabitants of my village have really come up trumps; their generosity of spirit has been truly humbling particularly when you consider that at 6ft 3in without heels (and I always wear heels!) a large, wide frame and a profoundly deep voice, I cannot easily 'pass'.   Whether, in view of my cancer, I will ever be allowed feminising hormones or will ever be offered re-assignment surgery has now paled into insignificance for me now that I am living and being widely accepted as the person I am.   I sincerely hope all other girls who publicly transition have family, friends and neighbours as lovely as mine to deal with.   All my love   x x  
    Jul 26, 2015 26