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  • 19 Aug 2018
    As a trans person we face a multitude of discrimination and hatred directed towards us by those who through either negligence, religious bigotry or just through misunderstanding feel that we are either some sex fetish or an abomination.  It is with great interest that the time and tide are changing and that acceptance is happening and being forced by equality legislation that has been enacted.  It is great to read that one of the most secretive (if that is to be believed) societies, that itself has been subject to misinformation and discrimination has opened it door to those in and of the trans spectrum.   Transgender women should be allowed to remain Freemasons if they joined as men, the largest UK lodge has said. Expelling masons for transitioning was "unlawful discrimination", the United Grand Lodge of England (UGLE) warned. Women who transition to become men should also be allowed to join, its new gender reassignment policy states. The guidance document says that a Freemason's gender reassignment should be "treated with the utmost compassion and sensitivity". Irrespective of gender identity, the UGLE's 200,000 members will still formally be referred to as "brothers", the document says. But informally they should be addressed "by the name and title he/she has chosen". It warns that using a mason's transition as a reason for excluding them from a men-only lodge would be "unlawful discrimination and so could never constitute sufficient cause".
    56 Posted by Sara Calypso
  • As a trans person we face a multitude of discrimination and hatred directed towards us by those who through either negligence, religious bigotry or just through misunderstanding feel that we are either some sex fetish or an abomination.  It is with great interest that the time and tide are changing and that acceptance is happening and being forced by equality legislation that has been enacted.  It is great to read that one of the most secretive (if that is to be believed) societies, that itself has been subject to misinformation and discrimination has opened it door to those in and of the trans spectrum.   Transgender women should be allowed to remain Freemasons if they joined as men, the largest UK lodge has said. Expelling masons for transitioning was "unlawful discrimination", the United Grand Lodge of England (UGLE) warned. Women who transition to become men should also be allowed to join, its new gender reassignment policy states. The guidance document says that a Freemason's gender reassignment should be "treated with the utmost compassion and sensitivity". Irrespective of gender identity, the UGLE's 200,000 members will still formally be referred to as "brothers", the document says. But informally they should be addressed "by the name and title he/she has chosen". It warns that using a mason's transition as a reason for excluding them from a men-only lodge would be "unlawful discrimination and so could never constitute sufficient cause".
    Aug 19, 2018 56
  • 02 Aug 2018
    Posted by Cristine Shye. BL   September 5, 2011 1:26 am BST  3 comments   1,450 views Transgender is a complex topic, where consensual and precise definitions have not yet been reached. Usually, the only way to find out how exactly people identify themselves is to ask them, and sometimes, transgender people either cannot or will not define themselves any more specifically than transgender, queer, or genderqueer. Books and articles written about transgender people or culture are often outdated by the time they are published, if not already outdated at the time of composition, due to inappropriate and/or outdated questions or premises. Not only psychology and medicine, but also social sciences deal with transgender people, and each starts from a very different point of view, offers very different perspectives, and uses a different nomenclature. The difference is mirrored by the attitude of transgender people towards transgender issues In late 20th century America, the closet had become a central metaphor for grasping the history and social dynamics of gay life. The notion of the closet is inseparable from the concept of coming out. The closet narrative sets up an implicit dualism between being "in" or being "out". Those who are "in" are often stigmatized as living false, unhappy lives In the early stages of the lesbian, gay or bisexual identity development process, people feel confused and experience turmoil. In 1993, Michelangelo Signorile wrote Queer in America, in which he explored the harm caused both to a closeted person and to society in general by being closeted. Homosexuality is becoming increasingly normalized and the shame and secrecy often associated with it appears to be in decline.  The metaphor of the closet hinges upon the notion that stigma management is a way of  life,.  however the opposite seems to be  the case with transsexuals and cross dressers  .the main reason the social expectations of the norm, heteronormativity, the two sexes, male and female. The refusal of society in general to accept   the  unknown, typically .religous parties and the uneducated. Historically, clinicians labeled transsexual people as heterosexual or homosexual relative to their sex assigned at birth. Most transsexual people find this offensive, and prefer to define their sexual orientation relative to their gender identity. Thus, a trans woman attracted to men is likely to identify as a heterosexual woman as opposed to being attracted to *same sex* women, a lesbian.. To avoid confusion and offense, the terms "gynephilia" and "androphilia" are sometimes used to describe attraction to women and men, respectively.The terms "homosexual" and "heterosexual" are problematic for transgender people who do not identify as male or female. More broadly, terms defining attraction in terms of men and women are often rejected by people attracted to those outside the gender binary.expectations of the norm and generally by the majority of gays relevant to their sexual orientations. One study published in 1977 suggests that transgender people have more heterosexual than homosexual experiences.   Bu did these studies take into account, how transgender people perceive their own gender??  Another study published in 1976 found an almost equal distribution of transsexuals between three distinct categories: homosexual, asexual, and heterosexual.However, this study only assessed 42 male-to-female transsexual people who had undergone gender reassignment surgery and does not address bisexuality.Furthermore, these categories have been rejected by many transsexual people as pejorative.   This topic was raised several times in the forums, one of which was entitled  ‘Does this make me gay?’   To which I replied, ‘’If you think like a woman, believe you are a woman and present as one, then no, it would indicate you’re a straight heterosexual woman  if you fancy and have sex with men albeit anal sex. To which several people were outraged stating they were not gay men in frocks and would never think of having any sort of sexual relation ship with a man, . .............These types of responses seemed illogical to me? if not would they not see themselves as lesbians?     Quite a few natal women enjoy anal sex, does that make them homosexual from the male involved viewpoint?  Perhaps from his view he might  be fantasising about screwing another mans bum.   Each individual, has different needs, before I had surgery I spent a lot of  time munching pillow, with numerous men, never imagining I was a man having my arse screwed, I was a woman having sex, giving pleasure and receiving pleasure the only way I could, now I get and give pleasure to my partner either way.
    102 Posted by Cristine Shye. BL. B/acc
  • Posted by Cristine Shye. BL   September 5, 2011 1:26 am BST  3 comments   1,450 views Transgender is a complex topic, where consensual and precise definitions have not yet been reached. Usually, the only way to find out how exactly people identify themselves is to ask them, and sometimes, transgender people either cannot or will not define themselves any more specifically than transgender, queer, or genderqueer. Books and articles written about transgender people or culture are often outdated by the time they are published, if not already outdated at the time of composition, due to inappropriate and/or outdated questions or premises. Not only psychology and medicine, but also social sciences deal with transgender people, and each starts from a very different point of view, offers very different perspectives, and uses a different nomenclature. The difference is mirrored by the attitude of transgender people towards transgender issues In late 20th century America, the closet had become a central metaphor for grasping the history and social dynamics of gay life. The notion of the closet is inseparable from the concept of coming out. The closet narrative sets up an implicit dualism between being "in" or being "out". Those who are "in" are often stigmatized as living false, unhappy lives In the early stages of the lesbian, gay or bisexual identity development process, people feel confused and experience turmoil. In 1993, Michelangelo Signorile wrote Queer in America, in which he explored the harm caused both to a closeted person and to society in general by being closeted. Homosexuality is becoming increasingly normalized and the shame and secrecy often associated with it appears to be in decline.  The metaphor of the closet hinges upon the notion that stigma management is a way of  life,.  however the opposite seems to be  the case with transsexuals and cross dressers  .the main reason the social expectations of the norm, heteronormativity, the two sexes, male and female. The refusal of society in general to accept   the  unknown, typically .religous parties and the uneducated. Historically, clinicians labeled transsexual people as heterosexual or homosexual relative to their sex assigned at birth. Most transsexual people find this offensive, and prefer to define their sexual orientation relative to their gender identity. Thus, a trans woman attracted to men is likely to identify as a heterosexual woman as opposed to being attracted to *same sex* women, a lesbian.. To avoid confusion and offense, the terms "gynephilia" and "androphilia" are sometimes used to describe attraction to women and men, respectively.The terms "homosexual" and "heterosexual" are problematic for transgender people who do not identify as male or female. More broadly, terms defining attraction in terms of men and women are often rejected by people attracted to those outside the gender binary.expectations of the norm and generally by the majority of gays relevant to their sexual orientations. One study published in 1977 suggests that transgender people have more heterosexual than homosexual experiences.   Bu did these studies take into account, how transgender people perceive their own gender??  Another study published in 1976 found an almost equal distribution of transsexuals between three distinct categories: homosexual, asexual, and heterosexual.However, this study only assessed 42 male-to-female transsexual people who had undergone gender reassignment surgery and does not address bisexuality.Furthermore, these categories have been rejected by many transsexual people as pejorative.   This topic was raised several times in the forums, one of which was entitled  ‘Does this make me gay?’   To which I replied, ‘’If you think like a woman, believe you are a woman and present as one, then no, it would indicate you’re a straight heterosexual woman  if you fancy and have sex with men albeit anal sex. To which several people were outraged stating they were not gay men in frocks and would never think of having any sort of sexual relation ship with a man, . .............These types of responses seemed illogical to me? if not would they not see themselves as lesbians?     Quite a few natal women enjoy anal sex, does that make them homosexual from the male involved viewpoint?  Perhaps from his view he might  be fantasising about screwing another mans bum.   Each individual, has different needs, before I had surgery I spent a lot of  time munching pillow, with numerous men, never imagining I was a man having my arse screwed, I was a woman having sex, giving pleasure and receiving pleasure the only way I could, now I get and give pleasure to my partner either way.
    Aug 02, 2018 102
  • 19 Jul 2018
    IF
    If I had a man and found out he had been cheating on me, after due consideration, I would be calm and methodical, I would take half his clothes round to the other woman's house, ....................................................... Half a pair of underpants, half a pair of trousers, half a shirt, half a jacket, half a pair of trousers, etc, etc
  • IF
    If I had a man and found out he had been cheating on me, after due consideration, I would be calm and methodical, I would take half his clothes round to the other woman's house, ....................................................... Half a pair of underpants, half a pair of trousers, half a shirt, half a jacket, half a pair of trousers, etc, etc
    Jul 19, 2018 70
  • 19 Jul 2018
    I'm moving! After 3 years of living here, I've had enough.  Late last month I had an appointment at the Norwegian Mental Health Department for being treated for Transsexualism. The psych is a really nice fellow. His name is Yngve (pronounced Ingve). We had a pretty good chat. Towards the end of it, he asked me what my plans were with my therapist because some things came up that needed to be discussed. He also told me that he didn't think I would move anytime soon. After all, I have been saying for at least the past 2 years, I might be moving soon. Now, some people might just ignore this post, and I'm okay with that. I have been saying a lot of things over the years. About my loneliness, about being isolated, basically stuck. Anyway, I took what this shrink said and said Fuck it, I will move. So at the beginning in July, I started seriously looking for a new flat. I found one, and it was quite a ways away. Somewhat north of Oslo by about 45 km. I looked at the pictures and thought, I want this. It's summer, probably few interested parties, so I asked for a viewing. Keep in mind I live near Kristiansand. It takes four and a half hours to get to Oslo either via coach or train. It also costs money. But I had decided I had to take the chance. So, I went up to the viewing and used the weekend staying at my ex-wifes in Oslo. The actual renters were on holiday in the mountains, but I got to meet the current rentee and see the place. It was really nice. Less than 5 minutes walk away from the train station, the local supermarket, and about 10 minutes walk to the Shopping Centre. The guy said that there was one other viewing the coming Friday, but he wasn't sure he wanted to be around for that, and asked if I really wanted it. Both Maria and I said, yes, definitely, You don't need to be here for that. And with that I went home with a bit of trepidation. As soon as I got home, I rang my landlord to give him my notice. He sort of expected this phone call, but I could tell he wasn't entirely pleased even though I have been a very good renter. Perhaps not the tidiest of persons, but certainly have had no complaints against me. I don't play loud music, I don't smoke or make much noise. I keep to myself. I have cats. The Problem with Cats... They aren't allowed in the new place. I am trying to get help in finding them new homes. I guess to some 4 sounds like a lot of cats. It isn't though. It's a good number. But they are well-adjusted to being around other cats. I hope to write that they all have new homes before I move.   Continuing... I was asked if I could come for a signing and deposit on Sunday and Monday, to which I said yes. So, I once again took a journey on the coach to Oslo, and then to Kløfta to sign the contract and get the keys. There was a surprise when they wanted half a months rent, but I managed it. Barely. I will spare you all the details. I also managed to secure the deposit when I got home via Internet Banking, which was nice. Now, I'm focused on getting ready for the move. Hiring a moving agency, changing addresses, setting up mail forwarding, and starting to pack. Fortunately, I don't have all that many things that I want to take with me. The Future... After this, I will need a month or two to adjust to the new place and expenses before venturing out. I will be making at least weekly trips to Oslo for various things, I will also be looking towards taking a much needed holiday. Where? Probably visit my friend Casey in Newcastle, outside of that I have no plans. Who knows maybe we won't get on in person and I'll be free to roam around the country provided I can get good deals on transportation. As far as visiting any scenes, I am not sure yet if I am ready. But ready or not... The reason I have chosen to move so abruptly is because it was killing me living here in the south of Norway with no friends, no car, yada yada yada you've heard that before. But it's also closer to the Hospital, just about an hour away instead of nearly 5. There is a train in the summer that goes every hour, the rest of the year it's ever half-hour. So, suddenly, I'm much more flexible. I'm 20 minutes from the airport, and really looking forward to it! Much love, Rachel Maxwell
    66 Posted by Rachel Maxwell
  • I'm moving! After 3 years of living here, I've had enough.  Late last month I had an appointment at the Norwegian Mental Health Department for being treated for Transsexualism. The psych is a really nice fellow. His name is Yngve (pronounced Ingve). We had a pretty good chat. Towards the end of it, he asked me what my plans were with my therapist because some things came up that needed to be discussed. He also told me that he didn't think I would move anytime soon. After all, I have been saying for at least the past 2 years, I might be moving soon. Now, some people might just ignore this post, and I'm okay with that. I have been saying a lot of things over the years. About my loneliness, about being isolated, basically stuck. Anyway, I took what this shrink said and said Fuck it, I will move. So at the beginning in July, I started seriously looking for a new flat. I found one, and it was quite a ways away. Somewhat north of Oslo by about 45 km. I looked at the pictures and thought, I want this. It's summer, probably few interested parties, so I asked for a viewing. Keep in mind I live near Kristiansand. It takes four and a half hours to get to Oslo either via coach or train. It also costs money. But I had decided I had to take the chance. So, I went up to the viewing and used the weekend staying at my ex-wifes in Oslo. The actual renters were on holiday in the mountains, but I got to meet the current rentee and see the place. It was really nice. Less than 5 minutes walk away from the train station, the local supermarket, and about 10 minutes walk to the Shopping Centre. The guy said that there was one other viewing the coming Friday, but he wasn't sure he wanted to be around for that, and asked if I really wanted it. Both Maria and I said, yes, definitely, You don't need to be here for that. And with that I went home with a bit of trepidation. As soon as I got home, I rang my landlord to give him my notice. He sort of expected this phone call, but I could tell he wasn't entirely pleased even though I have been a very good renter. Perhaps not the tidiest of persons, but certainly have had no complaints against me. I don't play loud music, I don't smoke or make much noise. I keep to myself. I have cats. The Problem with Cats... They aren't allowed in the new place. I am trying to get help in finding them new homes. I guess to some 4 sounds like a lot of cats. It isn't though. It's a good number. But they are well-adjusted to being around other cats. I hope to write that they all have new homes before I move.   Continuing... I was asked if I could come for a signing and deposit on Sunday and Monday, to which I said yes. So, I once again took a journey on the coach to Oslo, and then to Kløfta to sign the contract and get the keys. There was a surprise when they wanted half a months rent, but I managed it. Barely. I will spare you all the details. I also managed to secure the deposit when I got home via Internet Banking, which was nice. Now, I'm focused on getting ready for the move. Hiring a moving agency, changing addresses, setting up mail forwarding, and starting to pack. Fortunately, I don't have all that many things that I want to take with me. The Future... After this, I will need a month or two to adjust to the new place and expenses before venturing out. I will be making at least weekly trips to Oslo for various things, I will also be looking towards taking a much needed holiday. Where? Probably visit my friend Casey in Newcastle, outside of that I have no plans. Who knows maybe we won't get on in person and I'll be free to roam around the country provided I can get good deals on transportation. As far as visiting any scenes, I am not sure yet if I am ready. But ready or not... The reason I have chosen to move so abruptly is because it was killing me living here in the south of Norway with no friends, no car, yada yada yada you've heard that before. But it's also closer to the Hospital, just about an hour away instead of nearly 5. There is a train in the summer that goes every hour, the rest of the year it's ever half-hour. So, suddenly, I'm much more flexible. I'm 20 minutes from the airport, and really looking forward to it! Much love, Rachel Maxwell
    Jul 19, 2018 66
  • 18 Jul 2018
    https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/6806161/cliff-richard-to-get-ruling-on-whether-bbc-breached-his-privacy-by-filming-child-abuse-raid/   Why did the police allow the press into the premises to film the search in progress in the first instance, the basis of obtaining evidence is to preserve the scene/premises from contamination, this film would be judged prejudicial to any further case,    ''He said seeing coverage of the search at his apartment was like "watching burglars" going through his belongings and that he has never lived in the apartment again because it's "contaminated''   He watched the live coverage unfold from Portugal and told the court he could see cops "going through the drawers" in one of the rooms. Reporter Dan Johnson had received a tip off from South Yorkshire Police about the raid. The star added: “What the BBC did to me was very wrong. I was portrayed as a sex offender around the world before I had even been questioned by police.” What if, they the police had found embarrassing but innocent items, unrelated to any perceived crime would they have held them up for the BBC cameras, laughed and shouted eureka?
  • https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/6806161/cliff-richard-to-get-ruling-on-whether-bbc-breached-his-privacy-by-filming-child-abuse-raid/   Why did the police allow the press into the premises to film the search in progress in the first instance, the basis of obtaining evidence is to preserve the scene/premises from contamination, this film would be judged prejudicial to any further case,    ''He said seeing coverage of the search at his apartment was like "watching burglars" going through his belongings and that he has never lived in the apartment again because it's "contaminated''   He watched the live coverage unfold from Portugal and told the court he could see cops "going through the drawers" in one of the rooms. Reporter Dan Johnson had received a tip off from South Yorkshire Police about the raid. The star added: “What the BBC did to me was very wrong. I was portrayed as a sex offender around the world before I had even been questioned by police.” What if, they the police had found embarrassing but innocent items, unrelated to any perceived crime would they have held them up for the BBC cameras, laughed and shouted eureka?
    Jul 18, 2018 57
  • 18 Jul 2018
    WOMEN'S JAIL SHOCK Transgender lag ‘sexually abused four female prisoners’   More trans front page sensationalism,   mis-reporting.    https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/6804433/transgender-lag-sexually-abused-four-female-prisoners-days-after-arriving-at-west-yorkshire-jail/   The prison authorities decide where a prisoner is incarcerated, judges can only make recommendations, if the person has a GRC, then legally they are female and must be interned in a woman's prison, under the law and the EHRC one cannot be forced into corrective surgery, to gain that entitlement.   What I am trying to say is men abuse women, men abuse men, women abuse men and they also abuse other women, why do newspapers emphasise Transgender as if one has to be transgendered  do these despicable things, 
  • WOMEN'S JAIL SHOCK Transgender lag ‘sexually abused four female prisoners’   More trans front page sensationalism,   mis-reporting.    https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/6804433/transgender-lag-sexually-abused-four-female-prisoners-days-after-arriving-at-west-yorkshire-jail/   The prison authorities decide where a prisoner is incarcerated, judges can only make recommendations, if the person has a GRC, then legally they are female and must be interned in a woman's prison, under the law and the EHRC one cannot be forced into corrective surgery, to gain that entitlement.   What I am trying to say is men abuse women, men abuse men, women abuse men and they also abuse other women, why do newspapers emphasise Transgender as if one has to be transgendered  do these despicable things, 
    Jul 18, 2018 52

Top Blogs

  • 18 Dec 2014
    The Gender Clinic   2009 I had decided enough was enough. I needed help with this horrid transgendered curse which was doing its best to wreck my life. First stop GP. She was great. Second stop a selection of shrinks who referred me to the Gender Clinic as well as diagnosing me as pretty mental. First appointment was a long wait. But when it came it was quite nice being able to spill my guts out to an expert. I think I've been maybe 6 times now. During this period I've changed my name am dosed up on high levels of hormones and lifes great.   A Summary Of Yesterdays Appointment   I love hormones. The serenity from having near zero testosterone in my body. My bits don't work at all anymore which I couldn't care less about. I cannot be arsed with having my bits cut off and i don't like fannies anyway. I'm very single because I haven't got a clue about my sexual orientation and I'm not going to inflict that on anyone, but I do have a cat. People don't treat me as female, but they don't treat me as male either, i'm just different, which I like. I've had mainly very positive reactions to my gender choices. I am reintegrated into regular society. I'm no longer a webcam 'girl'.  My body has become very feminine which does confuse people. Sometimes I wear makeup and a hairpiece sometimes I don't, depends on my mood. Basically I'm a contented little tranny.   Bye Bye   So I'm exactly where I want to be with it all. The happiest I have been in years. So subsequently I have been told I don't have to go anymore. Their job is done, GP still deals with blood tests, hormones etc but thats it. I guess I'm what they would describe as a success story. So apart from one incident in there I have to say thanks to them as they have really helped me turn my life around.
    37 Posted by Mia Wallace
  • The Gender Clinic   2009 I had decided enough was enough. I needed help with this horrid transgendered curse which was doing its best to wreck my life. First stop GP. She was great. Second stop a selection of shrinks who referred me to the Gender Clinic as well as diagnosing me as pretty mental. First appointment was a long wait. But when it came it was quite nice being able to spill my guts out to an expert. I think I've been maybe 6 times now. During this period I've changed my name am dosed up on high levels of hormones and lifes great.   A Summary Of Yesterdays Appointment   I love hormones. The serenity from having near zero testosterone in my body. My bits don't work at all anymore which I couldn't care less about. I cannot be arsed with having my bits cut off and i don't like fannies anyway. I'm very single because I haven't got a clue about my sexual orientation and I'm not going to inflict that on anyone, but I do have a cat. People don't treat me as female, but they don't treat me as male either, i'm just different, which I like. I've had mainly very positive reactions to my gender choices. I am reintegrated into regular society. I'm no longer a webcam 'girl'.  My body has become very feminine which does confuse people. Sometimes I wear makeup and a hairpiece sometimes I don't, depends on my mood. Basically I'm a contented little tranny.   Bye Bye   So I'm exactly where I want to be with it all. The happiest I have been in years. So subsequently I have been told I don't have to go anymore. Their job is done, GP still deals with blood tests, hormones etc but thats it. I guess I'm what they would describe as a success story. So apart from one incident in there I have to say thanks to them as they have really helped me turn my life around.
    Dec 18, 2014 37
  • 13 Oct 2013
    Is it me?   Well not sure how to put this but here goes. Is it me or does anyone else feel that those who have gone through the full transition Don’t feel they fit in any more I have had 2 friends who have had the full transition and have left here Due to the way they are spoken to and both have a gone through what a lot of us are aiming to do And have great advice and are both counselling other trans girls in different stages of the journey I know they do as I do think in some way this fabulous site has taken a turn to more Fetish Cross Dressing which yes is all part of the trans scene in ways. 50 shades of grey doesn’t cut it here it’s more like 500 shades of grey lol But I do feel upset that friends and other post op girls who yes are now women feel they don’t belong I do say live and let live for all walks of life but it does come to a shock in ways to me that We have in a word discrimination against each other here Why can’t we all get along I have said before in the immortal words of high school musical   “We’re all in this together” so let’s start being united in what we do To quote a friend who has left “Peace love and lip gloss” Hugs xxamyxx 
    35 Posted by Deleted Member
  • Is it me?   Well not sure how to put this but here goes. Is it me or does anyone else feel that those who have gone through the full transition Don’t feel they fit in any more I have had 2 friends who have had the full transition and have left here Due to the way they are spoken to and both have a gone through what a lot of us are aiming to do And have great advice and are both counselling other trans girls in different stages of the journey I know they do as I do think in some way this fabulous site has taken a turn to more Fetish Cross Dressing which yes is all part of the trans scene in ways. 50 shades of grey doesn’t cut it here it’s more like 500 shades of grey lol But I do feel upset that friends and other post op girls who yes are now women feel they don’t belong I do say live and let live for all walks of life but it does come to a shock in ways to me that We have in a word discrimination against each other here Why can’t we all get along I have said before in the immortal words of high school musical   “We’re all in this together” so let’s start being united in what we do To quote a friend who has left “Peace love and lip gloss” Hugs xxamyxx 
    Oct 13, 2013 35
  • 24 Jan 2014
    hi ya just asking i do love albumn suggestions and like looking at pics but please if ya have ya knob out please dont suggest as i like girly shots clothes and make up so you look nice a cock in stockings aint girly . i dont mind if you are into that and dressing is a fetish each to their own    live and let live i say  i dress because i love being a girl i know im a guy (a cock in a frock lol) but i like the illusion  thats why i tuck it away      but i cant or wont hit the like button because ya got ya dangleys out lol and i dont want to appear rude by not liking it so its best all round    big hugs and to coin a phrase a friend of mine uses   peace love and lipgloss xxxxxxx   xxamyxx
    31 Posted by Deleted Member
  • hi ya just asking i do love albumn suggestions and like looking at pics but please if ya have ya knob out please dont suggest as i like girly shots clothes and make up so you look nice a cock in stockings aint girly . i dont mind if you are into that and dressing is a fetish each to their own    live and let live i say  i dress because i love being a girl i know im a guy (a cock in a frock lol) but i like the illusion  thats why i tuck it away      but i cant or wont hit the like button because ya got ya dangleys out lol and i dont want to appear rude by not liking it so its best all round    big hugs and to coin a phrase a friend of mine uses   peace love and lipgloss xxxxxxx   xxamyxx
    Jan 24, 2014 31
  • 14 Mar 2015
    Well today has been somewhat different for me, not only was it my mum's Birthday, but i also took her into The Village for a few drinks this afternoon and then onto velvet for a lovely Birthday meal, I had been promising to take her into Manchester for a long time - So I thought why not!  And yes before you ask, i was in girlie mode. Mum has known about Liz for quite a while now and is very comfortable with the Trans side of me and is always asking if I've bought any new clothes, and most of all hates how good my legs look! I chat to my mum everyday whether that is by text or a phone call, i always do, the thing is my mum like all of your parents and those close to you are not getting any younger, you should always grab the chance to speak to them whenever you can and spend as much time as you can with them. OK today was not the usual party atmosphere that we are accustomed to when we pop into the village on a Saturday, but more of a qualitiy precious time spent chatting in a relaxed environment with the woman who brought me into this world, helping "MUM" celebrate her birthday with Liz and not Ian.  Her words to me as I've just dropped her off at home " I have loved every second of today" like i said quality time.    Myself and Mum in Paddy's  And Mum enjoying another Cider in Via. So folks, wht not get yourselves off out and enjoy the preicous time while you can, you never know what's round the corner. Hugs  Liz and Marion (Mum) x
  • Well today has been somewhat different for me, not only was it my mum's Birthday, but i also took her into The Village for a few drinks this afternoon and then onto velvet for a lovely Birthday meal, I had been promising to take her into Manchester for a long time - So I thought why not!  And yes before you ask, i was in girlie mode. Mum has known about Liz for quite a while now and is very comfortable with the Trans side of me and is always asking if I've bought any new clothes, and most of all hates how good my legs look! I chat to my mum everyday whether that is by text or a phone call, i always do, the thing is my mum like all of your parents and those close to you are not getting any younger, you should always grab the chance to speak to them whenever you can and spend as much time as you can with them. OK today was not the usual party atmosphere that we are accustomed to when we pop into the village on a Saturday, but more of a qualitiy precious time spent chatting in a relaxed environment with the woman who brought me into this world, helping "MUM" celebrate her birthday with Liz and not Ian.  Her words to me as I've just dropped her off at home " I have loved every second of today" like i said quality time.    Myself and Mum in Paddy's  And Mum enjoying another Cider in Via. So folks, wht not get yourselves off out and enjoy the preicous time while you can, you never know what's round the corner. Hugs  Liz and Marion (Mum) x
    Mar 14, 2015 27
  • 16 Aug 2015
    Ok I know this blog isn't full of cock shots and all things kinky - but hey it is a little different! Yesterday myself and Shar went to a wedding reception and in my moment of madness I said "fuck it I'm going in girlie mode". So I started getting ready to the amusement of Shar, saying people won't know where to look, anyway I got ready and off we went, presant in hand. I wasn't feeling nervous, just good to be getting out again, although in a very straight and normal atmosphere. We arrived and I walk straight in greeted Sammy the bride and her new husband, to her amazement it was me Ian - but Liz! Having a mingle with the muggels and a chat to work colleagues, to my amazement no one actually read me apart from my work mates, who knew about Liz but had never actually met for real, apart from my ill fitting shoes being to big - yes to big I had a pleasant evening and it was a change from the norm! The moral to my blog is, if you dress with right attitude then why can't all of you lovely girls get out there and burst the bubble! Till next time, Hugs Liz x
  • Ok I know this blog isn't full of cock shots and all things kinky - but hey it is a little different! Yesterday myself and Shar went to a wedding reception and in my moment of madness I said "fuck it I'm going in girlie mode". So I started getting ready to the amusement of Shar, saying people won't know where to look, anyway I got ready and off we went, presant in hand. I wasn't feeling nervous, just good to be getting out again, although in a very straight and normal atmosphere. We arrived and I walk straight in greeted Sammy the bride and her new husband, to her amazement it was me Ian - but Liz! Having a mingle with the muggels and a chat to work colleagues, to my amazement no one actually read me apart from my work mates, who knew about Liz but had never actually met for real, apart from my ill fitting shoes being to big - yes to big I had a pleasant evening and it was a change from the norm! The moral to my blog is, if you dress with right attitude then why can't all of you lovely girls get out there and burst the bubble! Till next time, Hugs Liz x
    Aug 16, 2015 27
  • 26 Jul 2015
    Preparing for “D-Day” (“D” for “Disclosure”)   Stratford on Avon  May 2015  After Christmas I decided I was going to live out the rest of my life as a woman on a 24/7 basis.  I’m 70 next year and it was ‘now or never’.  For nearly 9 months I had been living as a woman at home and when out and about in the nearby towns but had not ‘come out’ to my friends and acquaintances in the village where I live.   I went dressed as a man when I disclosed my transgenderism to my (lady) doctor but took some photos with me, some dating back more than 50 years, so I could satisfy her this wasn’t just a recent phenomenon and that I hadn’t gone doolally because of my wife’s death early last year.   She was bowled over by the photos and asked me if I would give her make-up lessons so she could look 20 years younger too!    She immediately acceded to my request for a referral to the gender identity clinic (GIC) but then she had no option really, as there are strict NHS protocols and guidelines concerning transgender matters. As luck would have it, my local GIC was immediately next door in the ‘cottage’ hospital on the same campus as my doctor’s surgery; wasn’t I a lucky girl?  This hasn’t quickened up in the slightest the inordinately slow GIC process though.   She also changed my male name on the NHS records to that of my unofficially adopted female name and the NHS now only knows me as a female named Ms Trines Ward. All correspondence comes in that name. Any male doctor wishing to examine me must wheel in a female chaperone for my protection!  Recently I had an emergency operation and the hospital kept insisting I had to be put in a female ward; I only just managed to avoid this as I felt ill women and their visitors would not want to see me in the next bed without wig or make-up! In the male ward I wore androgynous pink and blue short pyjamas but the board above my bed clearly stated ‘Ms Trines Ward—female” as did the labels around my arm and ankle, and the staff punctiliously referred to me amongst staff and patients, as ‘she’ or ‘her’.   Back at the GIC, they informed me it was run by two psychiatrists and I would need a separate assessment consultation with each one before any treatment would be considered. There was a four months’ wait for each session which meant nothing could even begin to happen until October/November!  I thought this was completely out of order and I thoroughly read the two main published guidelines (both are on the net):   1. “Good practice guidelines for the assessment and treatment of adults with gender dysphoria” ref CR181 published by Royal College of Pyschiatrists Oct 2013   2) “Gender dysphoria services: a guide for General Practitioners and other healthcare staff” published by NHS.   These showed me my GIC’s timescales did not comply and some polite but firm letters and phone calls from me got the waits reduced to two months each; still lengthy but within the guidelines.  I can understand caution when dealing with tyros in their late teens/early twenties who might not even have ventured out dressed in public but not when dealing with very long in the tooth, fully experienced trans like me who know precisely where and how far they wish to go.   Both psychiatrists concluded I am fully transsexual and were happy to ‘take me all the way’. I’m not so sure. I’m not body dysphoric as far as my meat and two veg are concerned, in view of my age and recent bereavement I’m not seeking another partner, and neither am I gay so as Trines you might say I’m lesbian, so why would I want to lose my ‘wobbly bits’? I think I will be content to present myself as best I can as a woman even if I continue to have things in my knickers that other girls don’t have!  Provided I tuck no-one else will know whether I’ve had full reassignment or not.  What I want more than anything is feminising hormones so I can have effective facial and body hair removal and benefit from their desirable side-effects although at my age I cannot, unfortunately, expect oestrogen to give me any breast tissue   Meanwhile, I had to tell my three children and their families and then plan going fully public.   Whilst my wife ‘knew’ about me before we married, we agreed to keep it a secret from everyone for the protection both of our children and my wife from the substantial public opprobrium and ridicule they would have suffered, certainly back in the ‘70’s and ‘80’s. Indeed, on leaving home in the early 70’s I tried living full-time as a woman but had to give it up after 6 months because of the immense public hostility I suffered and the impossibility of getting a worthwhile job.   I now needed to inform my children of my condition and of my wish to ‘go public’. This would not be easy—and it wasn’t!  I paid for them to have quite expensive sessions with a counsellor experienced in transgender issues and this most definitely helped. All three of them are now fully supportive although my son, in particular, is still having trouble fully coming to terms with the ‘new’ me.  Fortunately there is a huge amount of love in my family and we will get there.   In 'Butch Biker Bitch' mode (Transtastic  photoshoot Feb 2015)   I have grandchildren by two of them and because they were all terribly upset by the death early last year of their granny, and they still are, my children do not want them to go through another bereavement because of the ‘loss’ of their granddad and neither do they want to risk them suffering cyber bullying so, for the time being at least, I have to be ‘granddad’ whenever I see them. I can do this wearing women’s shoes, trousers and tops so it is not too uncomfortable for me. It is a price I will pay if I have to.   With the children informed and ‘on board’ I was now, at long, long last  free to ‘go public’!  I had been planning this for several months as I wanted to try and ensure I would have the best possible result in terms of tolerance and acceptance by my local community.   I have lived in my fairly large village, population just over 2,000, for 15 years, 14 of those with my wife.  I have actively joined in with the local community, trying always to be nice to everyone, performing and directing with the drama society, secretary of the Twinning Association for many years, socialising in the four pubs, playing and umpiring for the cricket team, helping to organise village fetes etc.  In addition, I’ve always had a part-time job as deputy manager of the village’s very busy canal marina, selling boats and organising their big boat rallies and festivals. In addition, as a qualified Boat Master and passenger boat skipper, I give boat handling instruction throughout the inland waterways on my own account.   So I am very well known and, I like to think, well regarded  not only in the village but also through the large and widespread canal community. Coming out to all these many hundreds of people seemed to be a fearsome step to take, something I wasn’t sure I could manage.   I could of course always ‘cut and run’ by selling up, moving to a nice little house in a pleasant town somewhere, presenting myself immediately as Trines.  This way, I would not suffer any ridicule or shunning by people I knew. True. But the whole purpose of my fully transitioning was to be able to lead a full, entertaining and social life as Trines and to be accepted by and join in with my local community. If I moved away, I would not be known and, as an obvious transwoman, I would not make many new friends at all,.  I would be facing a rather lonely remainder of my life.   I didn’t struggle with this decision for very long, I bit the bullet and decided to openly disclose to my village; if it all went disastrously wrong then moving away would be my ‘Plan B’.   Family unity is so important to me I discussed every proposed step with my children and took on board all their suggestions. The doctor already knew, was professionally bound to secrecy and had got the NHS fully on side.   My next step was the vicar. I do have faith but for reasons I will not go into here had never attended the local church except for the occasional wedding and funeral. I knew her well through secular dealings and she had been fantastic over my wife’s funeral. I met her in male mode, told her I would like to start attending church services, that I wouldn’t mind singing in the choir (I knew they were desperately short and had no male voices at all) but there was just one tiny thing, I would be coming as a woman!  She was of course amazed by the news (my male persona is exceptionally masculine), bowled over by my photo’s and couldn’t wait to meet the real me which she did a few days later.   She was all for Trines being an active member of her congregation, brought her wardens confidentially on board for briefing on transgender matters so they could counsel any stroppy church members and got her bishop’s backing she could tell anyone who couldn’t freely accept me to clear off and find a different religion!  A target date of the first week in June was set and until then I would attend church and sing in the choir as a man and she would subliminally prepare everyone by seeding suitable comments about accepting and loving everyone regardless of their differences in the texts of her sermons, bidding prayers and in the Village News!   This now left me free to concentrate on my information leaflet. I had decided I would, the week before my transition, go round in drab to see every one of my friends and important acquaintances and tell them what I was proposing to do, show them some current and very historic photos if they wanted to see them, hope I could rely on their acceptance and continued friendship and leave them with an informative and illustrated leaflet which they could pass on to others if they wished.  This leaflet went through 6 or 7 draft stages and I was careful to include  things my children wanted said. I had 250 of these professionally printed on top quality, thick, glossy bi-folded A4  paper so they could easily withstand being passed around:- (if the type is too small to read, zoom in by pressing 'Ctrl' & '+' together):-   So the last week in May, the week before ‘D-Day’, arrived!   I went round telling all my friends and left them with a leaflet. I saw each pub licensee, leaving  half a dozen copies behind the bar as I was bound to be the village scandal for a few days and also got their promises that if any Neanderthals objected to my presence it would be them asked to leave the pub and not me. I had also booked a personal conference that week with my marina owner and his general manager. They had been on tenterhooks for weeks, fearful I was retiring or moving away. They seemed almost relieved when I told them Tony was becoming Trines, it was almost “Is that all? Thank God for that!” Subject to a private preview of the new me they were, as friends as well as equal opportunity employers, happy for me to continue in the role for them, dealing with the public. I’ve had to have new female uniforms bespoken as nothing off the peg was long enough and I made sure everything hugs my breast, waist and hips shapewear tightly. The office girls are green with envy as I look rather voluptuous and sexy—they have already demanded the same made to measure facility!   That Sunday I was not in church as I was managing the marina. The vicar took the opportunity of telling the congregation about me, how from the following week I would always be Trines,  and apparently spoke so beautifully and movingly on transgenderism  and why I should be embraced by them all,  there were quite a few damp eyes in the house. The wardens distributed my leaflets afterwards.    D - Day ! and its Aftermath   The following Monday, 1st June, Trines made her first public appearance in the village and Tony has never been seen since (except of course a couple of times down in London with the grandchildren).   Against all my fears and trepidation my public disclosure and transition has been an absolutely unbelievable success, beyond my wildest dreams.  I had told myself that if I could retain the goodwill of perhaps a third of my friends then that would be a good and acceptable result, making staying in the village worthwhile.  30%?  It’s greater than 100% as I now have more friends than before because of my transition!   People I’ve not seen before but who have read my leaflet or heard about me have been coming up in the street or pub to shake my hand, commend my bravery and to wish me luck!  I’ve had a rather nasty and emergency operation recently and news of this spread with the result that people, many of them my ’new’ friends, were falling over themselves, offering to drive me to and from hospital or to meet family at Rugby station and take them to visit me—a round trip of about 50 miles!   All my neighbours and friends are still very friendly, I can’t accept all the invites round for coffee etc, there are too many of them. I’m really welcome at church and am possibly the only lady bass in a church choir in the country! The church has put me on their fete committee and wants me to be the PA announcer and dog show commentator at the next one. I continue to work at the marina with no adverse feedback whatsoever from the public. I’ve recently been in charge of safety at the big annual historic boat rally, we get thousands of visitors each day, and had to go round telling loads of boat skippers and others what to do  (it’s like herding cats with them) - they all know me from previous years but if anything they were all nicer, friendlier and more compliant than they’ve ever been!  My boat training business has not dropped off in the slightest, no-one gives my transition a second thought when I inform them. The Twinning Association has asked me to prepare and present their next fund-raising quiz (a big annual event in the village). I’m cast in the next Players’ production, rehearsals start in September.  I’m very welcome in all four pubs and am never short of someone to chat to. I’ve been elected a member of a small, rather exclusive group of ladies who meet every few weeks to cattily swap the latest gossip and scandal whilst getting hammered on G&T!  I have even been asked if I would like to help out at the community-owned tea shop, serving coffee, cakes and conversation to villagers and passing boaters - which I will do after my current convalescence.   If anything my social life as Trines is better than it was for that person I used to be (what was his name?) and it wasn’t bad for him, so much so I think I am losing the need to meet up with my other trans friends as much as I used to. After all, there is nothing so satisfying as being accepted and socialised by ’normal’ people for the girl you are. I shall of course still get to Pink Punters occasionally as I will to Outskirts in Birmingham and come Hell or High Water I am definitely getting to Sparkle next year after it was so cruelly snatched from me this year by a cancerous tumour.   Those of you who’ve managed not to nod off but are still reading this and possibly thinking of transitioning yourselves at some time in the future, might like to have my views on why I think my public disclosure has been so successful.   1. I decided to brazen it out in the locality where I lived and was known, rather than move to a new location. Had it been necessary to move first then I might have delayed my local transition for a year or two so that I could get to know a fair number of people as a man. That would not, of course, have stopped me cross-dressing at home or from going out further afield in female mode.   2. I was well established and well-known in the locality, joined in community activities and, always trying to be a nice guy, I think I was generally well liked. Whilst having to come to terms with a friend’s transgenderism must be more difficult the better someone has known the person as a man, I think there may be that little more pressure to do so because they are a friend; if they were not or hardly known then, to avoid embarrassment or other difficulties I think people might be tempted to more or less ignore the trans, giving perhaps just a smile if meeting in the street.   3. I took my time and planned well!  I had been dressing almost every day since May 2014 at home and when out sight-seeing, shopping or socialising with other trans in towns near and far. I only presented as a man locally when I had to eg for a social function in my village or when I was working in the marina. By the end of the year the urge to go 24/7 was stronger than ever and I realised I had no option but to go for it and disclosed to my GP to get the GIC on my case. I then gave myself 6 months to prepare for ‘D-Day’ (‘Disclosure Day’).   Most reputable websites advise taking disclosure very slowly, telling only a few now, a few more in a couple of weeks and so on. This would not have suited my circumstances. It would have been highly confusing for villagers - and for me - to see me switching between Trines and Tony on a daily basis; it would have to be all, and this would be on 1st June. I brought the vicar on board for genuine reasons but she also was a sounding-board; if she and her wardens had been decidedly ‘iffy’ about it all I probably would have sounded out again with a friend on whom I could rely for discretion or possibly have decided to switch to Plan B (ie ‘cut & run’).   4. I prepared and distributed an information leaflet.   I had tremendously complimentary feedback; many thought this had been a master-stroke. Even a lot of my better educated friends confessed to knowing little or nothing about transgenderism despite the number of high profile cases reported in the press over recent months. They said they thought they would have been much less sympathetic over my situation and proposed actions had they not been able to read and think about it. Some said they would have simply put me down as a ’perv’!  My history dating back to age 4 was genuinely eye-opening to them and made them really want to help me through my transition. It also worked on people who did not know me.  I distributed just under 250 but I know a lot were passed around and perhaps some 500 villagers or more have seen and been quite affected by it. I strongly recommend anyone thinking of transitioning to prepare a similar leaflet.   5. Once I publicly transitioned I really ‘put myself about’.  I realised I would need to socialise as much as I could to reinforce my presence as Trines in the village and to get villagers talking to me. I made sure I visited each pub each week at a peak time. I attended village do’s, some of which I would never have gone to previously, just to make sure I was seen and for the chance to chat to others. I went on more walks around the village, canal and marina in order to meet lots of others. I invited many to my place for a coffee and chat which they either agreed to or invited me to theirs instead.  I will take this up again as soon as my convalescence permits me and rather nicely, I’ve had quite a few offers to mow my lawns and do other heavy household chores.   The inhabitants of my village have really come up trumps; their generosity of spirit has been truly humbling particularly when you consider that at 6ft 3in without heels (and I always wear heels!) a large, wide frame and a profoundly deep voice, I cannot easily 'pass'.   Whether, in view of my cancer, I will ever be allowed feminising hormones or will ever be offered re-assignment surgery has now paled into insignificance for me now that I am living and being widely accepted as the person I am.   I sincerely hope all other girls who publicly transition have family, friends and neighbours as lovely as mine to deal with.   All my love   x x  
    26 Posted by Trines x x
  • Preparing for “D-Day” (“D” for “Disclosure”)   Stratford on Avon  May 2015  After Christmas I decided I was going to live out the rest of my life as a woman on a 24/7 basis.  I’m 70 next year and it was ‘now or never’.  For nearly 9 months I had been living as a woman at home and when out and about in the nearby towns but had not ‘come out’ to my friends and acquaintances in the village where I live.   I went dressed as a man when I disclosed my transgenderism to my (lady) doctor but took some photos with me, some dating back more than 50 years, so I could satisfy her this wasn’t just a recent phenomenon and that I hadn’t gone doolally because of my wife’s death early last year.   She was bowled over by the photos and asked me if I would give her make-up lessons so she could look 20 years younger too!    She immediately acceded to my request for a referral to the gender identity clinic (GIC) but then she had no option really, as there are strict NHS protocols and guidelines concerning transgender matters. As luck would have it, my local GIC was immediately next door in the ‘cottage’ hospital on the same campus as my doctor’s surgery; wasn’t I a lucky girl?  This hasn’t quickened up in the slightest the inordinately slow GIC process though.   She also changed my male name on the NHS records to that of my unofficially adopted female name and the NHS now only knows me as a female named Ms Trines Ward. All correspondence comes in that name. Any male doctor wishing to examine me must wheel in a female chaperone for my protection!  Recently I had an emergency operation and the hospital kept insisting I had to be put in a female ward; I only just managed to avoid this as I felt ill women and their visitors would not want to see me in the next bed without wig or make-up! In the male ward I wore androgynous pink and blue short pyjamas but the board above my bed clearly stated ‘Ms Trines Ward—female” as did the labels around my arm and ankle, and the staff punctiliously referred to me amongst staff and patients, as ‘she’ or ‘her’.   Back at the GIC, they informed me it was run by two psychiatrists and I would need a separate assessment consultation with each one before any treatment would be considered. There was a four months’ wait for each session which meant nothing could even begin to happen until October/November!  I thought this was completely out of order and I thoroughly read the two main published guidelines (both are on the net):   1. “Good practice guidelines for the assessment and treatment of adults with gender dysphoria” ref CR181 published by Royal College of Pyschiatrists Oct 2013   2) “Gender dysphoria services: a guide for General Practitioners and other healthcare staff” published by NHS.   These showed me my GIC’s timescales did not comply and some polite but firm letters and phone calls from me got the waits reduced to two months each; still lengthy but within the guidelines.  I can understand caution when dealing with tyros in their late teens/early twenties who might not even have ventured out dressed in public but not when dealing with very long in the tooth, fully experienced trans like me who know precisely where and how far they wish to go.   Both psychiatrists concluded I am fully transsexual and were happy to ‘take me all the way’. I’m not so sure. I’m not body dysphoric as far as my meat and two veg are concerned, in view of my age and recent bereavement I’m not seeking another partner, and neither am I gay so as Trines you might say I’m lesbian, so why would I want to lose my ‘wobbly bits’? I think I will be content to present myself as best I can as a woman even if I continue to have things in my knickers that other girls don’t have!  Provided I tuck no-one else will know whether I’ve had full reassignment or not.  What I want more than anything is feminising hormones so I can have effective facial and body hair removal and benefit from their desirable side-effects although at my age I cannot, unfortunately, expect oestrogen to give me any breast tissue   Meanwhile, I had to tell my three children and their families and then plan going fully public.   Whilst my wife ‘knew’ about me before we married, we agreed to keep it a secret from everyone for the protection both of our children and my wife from the substantial public opprobrium and ridicule they would have suffered, certainly back in the ‘70’s and ‘80’s. Indeed, on leaving home in the early 70’s I tried living full-time as a woman but had to give it up after 6 months because of the immense public hostility I suffered and the impossibility of getting a worthwhile job.   I now needed to inform my children of my condition and of my wish to ‘go public’. This would not be easy—and it wasn’t!  I paid for them to have quite expensive sessions with a counsellor experienced in transgender issues and this most definitely helped. All three of them are now fully supportive although my son, in particular, is still having trouble fully coming to terms with the ‘new’ me.  Fortunately there is a huge amount of love in my family and we will get there.   In 'Butch Biker Bitch' mode (Transtastic  photoshoot Feb 2015)   I have grandchildren by two of them and because they were all terribly upset by the death early last year of their granny, and they still are, my children do not want them to go through another bereavement because of the ‘loss’ of their granddad and neither do they want to risk them suffering cyber bullying so, for the time being at least, I have to be ‘granddad’ whenever I see them. I can do this wearing women’s shoes, trousers and tops so it is not too uncomfortable for me. It is a price I will pay if I have to.   With the children informed and ‘on board’ I was now, at long, long last  free to ‘go public’!  I had been planning this for several months as I wanted to try and ensure I would have the best possible result in terms of tolerance and acceptance by my local community.   I have lived in my fairly large village, population just over 2,000, for 15 years, 14 of those with my wife.  I have actively joined in with the local community, trying always to be nice to everyone, performing and directing with the drama society, secretary of the Twinning Association for many years, socialising in the four pubs, playing and umpiring for the cricket team, helping to organise village fetes etc.  In addition, I’ve always had a part-time job as deputy manager of the village’s very busy canal marina, selling boats and organising their big boat rallies and festivals. In addition, as a qualified Boat Master and passenger boat skipper, I give boat handling instruction throughout the inland waterways on my own account.   So I am very well known and, I like to think, well regarded  not only in the village but also through the large and widespread canal community. Coming out to all these many hundreds of people seemed to be a fearsome step to take, something I wasn’t sure I could manage.   I could of course always ‘cut and run’ by selling up, moving to a nice little house in a pleasant town somewhere, presenting myself immediately as Trines.  This way, I would not suffer any ridicule or shunning by people I knew. True. But the whole purpose of my fully transitioning was to be able to lead a full, entertaining and social life as Trines and to be accepted by and join in with my local community. If I moved away, I would not be known and, as an obvious transwoman, I would not make many new friends at all,.  I would be facing a rather lonely remainder of my life.   I didn’t struggle with this decision for very long, I bit the bullet and decided to openly disclose to my village; if it all went disastrously wrong then moving away would be my ‘Plan B’.   Family unity is so important to me I discussed every proposed step with my children and took on board all their suggestions. The doctor already knew, was professionally bound to secrecy and had got the NHS fully on side.   My next step was the vicar. I do have faith but for reasons I will not go into here had never attended the local church except for the occasional wedding and funeral. I knew her well through secular dealings and she had been fantastic over my wife’s funeral. I met her in male mode, told her I would like to start attending church services, that I wouldn’t mind singing in the choir (I knew they were desperately short and had no male voices at all) but there was just one tiny thing, I would be coming as a woman!  She was of course amazed by the news (my male persona is exceptionally masculine), bowled over by my photo’s and couldn’t wait to meet the real me which she did a few days later.   She was all for Trines being an active member of her congregation, brought her wardens confidentially on board for briefing on transgender matters so they could counsel any stroppy church members and got her bishop’s backing she could tell anyone who couldn’t freely accept me to clear off and find a different religion!  A target date of the first week in June was set and until then I would attend church and sing in the choir as a man and she would subliminally prepare everyone by seeding suitable comments about accepting and loving everyone regardless of their differences in the texts of her sermons, bidding prayers and in the Village News!   This now left me free to concentrate on my information leaflet. I had decided I would, the week before my transition, go round in drab to see every one of my friends and important acquaintances and tell them what I was proposing to do, show them some current and very historic photos if they wanted to see them, hope I could rely on their acceptance and continued friendship and leave them with an informative and illustrated leaflet which they could pass on to others if they wished.  This leaflet went through 6 or 7 draft stages and I was careful to include  things my children wanted said. I had 250 of these professionally printed on top quality, thick, glossy bi-folded A4  paper so they could easily withstand being passed around:- (if the type is too small to read, zoom in by pressing 'Ctrl' & '+' together):-   So the last week in May, the week before ‘D-Day’, arrived!   I went round telling all my friends and left them with a leaflet. I saw each pub licensee, leaving  half a dozen copies behind the bar as I was bound to be the village scandal for a few days and also got their promises that if any Neanderthals objected to my presence it would be them asked to leave the pub and not me. I had also booked a personal conference that week with my marina owner and his general manager. They had been on tenterhooks for weeks, fearful I was retiring or moving away. They seemed almost relieved when I told them Tony was becoming Trines, it was almost “Is that all? Thank God for that!” Subject to a private preview of the new me they were, as friends as well as equal opportunity employers, happy for me to continue in the role for them, dealing with the public. I’ve had to have new female uniforms bespoken as nothing off the peg was long enough and I made sure everything hugs my breast, waist and hips shapewear tightly. The office girls are green with envy as I look rather voluptuous and sexy—they have already demanded the same made to measure facility!   That Sunday I was not in church as I was managing the marina. The vicar took the opportunity of telling the congregation about me, how from the following week I would always be Trines,  and apparently spoke so beautifully and movingly on transgenderism  and why I should be embraced by them all,  there were quite a few damp eyes in the house. The wardens distributed my leaflets afterwards.    D - Day ! and its Aftermath   The following Monday, 1st June, Trines made her first public appearance in the village and Tony has never been seen since (except of course a couple of times down in London with the grandchildren).   Against all my fears and trepidation my public disclosure and transition has been an absolutely unbelievable success, beyond my wildest dreams.  I had told myself that if I could retain the goodwill of perhaps a third of my friends then that would be a good and acceptable result, making staying in the village worthwhile.  30%?  It’s greater than 100% as I now have more friends than before because of my transition!   People I’ve not seen before but who have read my leaflet or heard about me have been coming up in the street or pub to shake my hand, commend my bravery and to wish me luck!  I’ve had a rather nasty and emergency operation recently and news of this spread with the result that people, many of them my ’new’ friends, were falling over themselves, offering to drive me to and from hospital or to meet family at Rugby station and take them to visit me—a round trip of about 50 miles!   All my neighbours and friends are still very friendly, I can’t accept all the invites round for coffee etc, there are too many of them. I’m really welcome at church and am possibly the only lady bass in a church choir in the country! The church has put me on their fete committee and wants me to be the PA announcer and dog show commentator at the next one. I continue to work at the marina with no adverse feedback whatsoever from the public. I’ve recently been in charge of safety at the big annual historic boat rally, we get thousands of visitors each day, and had to go round telling loads of boat skippers and others what to do  (it’s like herding cats with them) - they all know me from previous years but if anything they were all nicer, friendlier and more compliant than they’ve ever been!  My boat training business has not dropped off in the slightest, no-one gives my transition a second thought when I inform them. The Twinning Association has asked me to prepare and present their next fund-raising quiz (a big annual event in the village). I’m cast in the next Players’ production, rehearsals start in September.  I’m very welcome in all four pubs and am never short of someone to chat to. I’ve been elected a member of a small, rather exclusive group of ladies who meet every few weeks to cattily swap the latest gossip and scandal whilst getting hammered on G&T!  I have even been asked if I would like to help out at the community-owned tea shop, serving coffee, cakes and conversation to villagers and passing boaters - which I will do after my current convalescence.   If anything my social life as Trines is better than it was for that person I used to be (what was his name?) and it wasn’t bad for him, so much so I think I am losing the need to meet up with my other trans friends as much as I used to. After all, there is nothing so satisfying as being accepted and socialised by ’normal’ people for the girl you are. I shall of course still get to Pink Punters occasionally as I will to Outskirts in Birmingham and come Hell or High Water I am definitely getting to Sparkle next year after it was so cruelly snatched from me this year by a cancerous tumour.   Those of you who’ve managed not to nod off but are still reading this and possibly thinking of transitioning yourselves at some time in the future, might like to have my views on why I think my public disclosure has been so successful.   1. I decided to brazen it out in the locality where I lived and was known, rather than move to a new location. Had it been necessary to move first then I might have delayed my local transition for a year or two so that I could get to know a fair number of people as a man. That would not, of course, have stopped me cross-dressing at home or from going out further afield in female mode.   2. I was well established and well-known in the locality, joined in community activities and, always trying to be a nice guy, I think I was generally well liked. Whilst having to come to terms with a friend’s transgenderism must be more difficult the better someone has known the person as a man, I think there may be that little more pressure to do so because they are a friend; if they were not or hardly known then, to avoid embarrassment or other difficulties I think people might be tempted to more or less ignore the trans, giving perhaps just a smile if meeting in the street.   3. I took my time and planned well!  I had been dressing almost every day since May 2014 at home and when out sight-seeing, shopping or socialising with other trans in towns near and far. I only presented as a man locally when I had to eg for a social function in my village or when I was working in the marina. By the end of the year the urge to go 24/7 was stronger than ever and I realised I had no option but to go for it and disclosed to my GP to get the GIC on my case. I then gave myself 6 months to prepare for ‘D-Day’ (‘Disclosure Day’).   Most reputable websites advise taking disclosure very slowly, telling only a few now, a few more in a couple of weeks and so on. This would not have suited my circumstances. It would have been highly confusing for villagers - and for me - to see me switching between Trines and Tony on a daily basis; it would have to be all, and this would be on 1st June. I brought the vicar on board for genuine reasons but she also was a sounding-board; if she and her wardens had been decidedly ‘iffy’ about it all I probably would have sounded out again with a friend on whom I could rely for discretion or possibly have decided to switch to Plan B (ie ‘cut & run’).   4. I prepared and distributed an information leaflet.   I had tremendously complimentary feedback; many thought this had been a master-stroke. Even a lot of my better educated friends confessed to knowing little or nothing about transgenderism despite the number of high profile cases reported in the press over recent months. They said they thought they would have been much less sympathetic over my situation and proposed actions had they not been able to read and think about it. Some said they would have simply put me down as a ’perv’!  My history dating back to age 4 was genuinely eye-opening to them and made them really want to help me through my transition. It also worked on people who did not know me.  I distributed just under 250 but I know a lot were passed around and perhaps some 500 villagers or more have seen and been quite affected by it. I strongly recommend anyone thinking of transitioning to prepare a similar leaflet.   5. Once I publicly transitioned I really ‘put myself about’.  I realised I would need to socialise as much as I could to reinforce my presence as Trines in the village and to get villagers talking to me. I made sure I visited each pub each week at a peak time. I attended village do’s, some of which I would never have gone to previously, just to make sure I was seen and for the chance to chat to others. I went on more walks around the village, canal and marina in order to meet lots of others. I invited many to my place for a coffee and chat which they either agreed to or invited me to theirs instead.  I will take this up again as soon as my convalescence permits me and rather nicely, I’ve had quite a few offers to mow my lawns and do other heavy household chores.   The inhabitants of my village have really come up trumps; their generosity of spirit has been truly humbling particularly when you consider that at 6ft 3in without heels (and I always wear heels!) a large, wide frame and a profoundly deep voice, I cannot easily 'pass'.   Whether, in view of my cancer, I will ever be allowed feminising hormones or will ever be offered re-assignment surgery has now paled into insignificance for me now that I am living and being widely accepted as the person I am.   I sincerely hope all other girls who publicly transition have family, friends and neighbours as lovely as mine to deal with.   All my love   x x  
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