Provocation and being a bitch

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    Saw the jumper on line and it reminded me of the numerous times I have resorted to being a sarcastic bitch.   If one were to search the web for my name, one link springs to mind.

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    My answers at the time,

    To the crude guy with halitosis,  ''The very thought! having sex with you has given me a soft on''

    To the Gay guy that told me wearing dresses did not make me a woman.   ''If it did'nt I would be walking round with holes in my trouser pockets scratching my nuts and feeling a dickhead all day''

    To the woman who called me a slag,  ''If cocks could fly, your mouth would be a busy airport''

    To the guy who offered me 12 inches,   ''I don't have the time hanging around for you to fuck me three times''

    To the woman that called me a gay guy in a frock.  ''Hun your birth certificate is actually an apology from the condom company for its defective product''

    To the guy who threatened me with a fantastic night, and in the morning Asked how it was.   ''Disappointing to say the least and if I had of woken up first this morning with my arm trapped under you, I would have chewed it off to avoid a repeat performance''

    To the man who said he was glad I was convincing and pretty otherwise he would have stood me up,  ''I so admire your honesty and your stupidity is your most outstanding feature, now fuck off''     

     

     

3 comments
  • Cristine Jennifer Shye. BL. B/acc Question: Can I ask a dumb question? Answer: I don't know of anyone more qualified.
  • Cristine Jennifer Shye. BL. B/acc Can I have your email address, I'll send you some piccies of my willy. Yeh sure, arsehole_magnet@yahoo.co.uk
  • Cristine Jennifer Shye. BL. B/acc Hate your neighbour? Imagine this scenario. 3am, a Sunday morning, shove all your junk mail collected over a period of a couple of months, through their letterbox. Pile up the months newspapers and magazines on the doorstep, add 20 pints of milk. Then...  more